It Never Ends

So why do people call them 'Continuity New Labour' anyway?

The Coalition’s advisors on school food said head teachers should prevent pupils bringing their own lunches into school – and ban them from visiting fast food outlets – amid continuing fears over the state of children’s diets.

Nice, huh? The state can't say whether two parents are better than one, but it can tell you what your kids are allowed to eat. And then there's this:

It was claimed that the move would effectively force parents to pay for school dinners – allowing staff to spend more money upgrading kitchens and generating healthy canteen food.

Who said 'stealth tax'? Mind you, the whole idea of forcing people who don't want state-approved meals to pay for them anyway seems vaguely familiar somehow....

Speaking to The Sunday Times, Mr Dimbleby, son of the broadcaster David Dimbleby, said schools should consider banning packed lunches and requiring pupils to remain on site over lunch to drive up investment in school catering services.

Suddenly it all becomes clear. May as well just go the whole hog and call it a 'Food Licence Fee'. It's an interesting philosophical question though: which side of the debate has betrayed their roots most blatantly? The British left for allowing itself to be dominated by absurdly privledged rich brat snoborexics ranting at the 'scrubbers' (Copyright: J Oliver)? Or the right for even contemplating a national policy on lunch?

Funnily enough though, while the supposed threat of the 'obesity epidemic' is serious enough to justify these people stealing your money and your liberty, it never justifies doing anything that would inconvenience the teachoids.

Of Pigs And Proms

My thoughts exactly.

Like I said in the comments, we've been this way before. Less than a decade ago, we were told that anyone who thought civil partnerships would be the camel's nose for gay marriage was clearly a tin-foil hatted Jesus Freak. Now it turns out that not supporting gay marriage is a sign you're a tin-foil hat wearing Jesus Freak. Either way, they hate you, they really hate you.

Mind you, the old Endowment Flogger does have a point. Whichever side of the conservative movement you're on, the traditionalist wing or the minimalist government wing, once you accept that marriage is whatever the government says it is this week, what can't it do?

All of which reminds me of the guy who visits a farm and sees a pig with a bunch of medals hanging round its neck and a wooden leg. He asks the farmer what's going on and the farmer tells him about all the times the pig has saved the lives of members of his family, like pulling the farmer out of slurry pits, protecting his young daughter from wild dogs and waking them up when the house catches fire. The guy says 'well, OK, that explains the medals, but what about the wooden leg'? The farmer replies 'hey, a pig like that, you're not going to eat him all at once are you'?

Message to social conservatives: you are that pig and establishment conservatives are the farmer.

On the plus side, at least social conservatism's perfect record is intact: fifty years without ever having won one.

All of which means it's time to revisit the old advice about doing the same thing and expecting different outcomes. Is there a better way? Yes, actually. There's a - possibly apocryphal - story about a US lesbian who sued her Mid-West High School to win the right to take her girlfriend to the Prom and not have to abide by the dress code. She won, of course, and on the day in question the two of them strode boldly into the Prom, doubtless dressed in matching boiler suits, followed by a pack of journos anxious to document how they 'rubbed the right's nose in diversity'.Except...

Something wasn't quite right. Band playing? Check! Decorations up? Check! Any noses to rub in diversity? Errr.... not so much.

In fact, their fellow students were all across town at a 'Not The Prom', having a whale of a time and blatantly keeping their noses unrubbed. That's the key point here. The State could demand the right for these two jerks to attend something called 'The Prom' but it couldn't breath life into it. Instead, these two were left as Queens of the Empty Room, proud holders of the right to walk round an empty gym. They'd have stuck it to The Man, if only the The Man had stuck around.

That's the secret right there. Gay marriage might be a tactical win for the forces of chaos, but it's also a sign of their strategic weakness. We've had a half a century of the Gaystapo on the rampage but in cultural terms, they're batting 0 out of 10. They're firmly mired in parody and pastiche unable to create a single lasting cultural institution of their own. Hence the desire to hijack other peoples.

So now the government has decided that gay marriage is legal. Well, just that then. It's time for the Churches to leave the Prom. They need to refuse to perform legal marriages. If - for some insane reason - Christians want to follow up their Church wedding by inviting the state to get involved in their lives they can turn up at State Registry Office 2473 some wet Wednesday when they're both off work and fill the papers out. Other than that, the Hell with it.

Nothing will let the air out of the gay marriage movement like that moment when these tools are all performing fellatio on each other on the steps of State Registry Office 2473 (take that, daddeo) and a young Christian couple in jeans ignore them as they pass by on the way to get their Offical Government Stamp of Marital Approval.

Think of it as their Marily Manson moment.

The Root of the Problem

Crivens! The Five-oh are complaining that complaints against the police are recorded even when they're self-evidently absurd.

Hmmmmmm....... you could almost say 'the process is the punishment'.

Now why does that sound familiar? JulieM dismantles this garbage, but the thing that intrigues me is this bit from Gadget's post:

Sir Robert Peel wanted us not to pander to public opinion, but to remain impartial and apply the law.

Well, yeah... maybe, but probably not. Still, if you want to go down that road, there's this too:

Above all else, an effective authority figure knows trust and accountability are paramount. Hence, Peel's most often quoted principle: The police are the public and the public are the police.

Not exactly consistent with the Gadgeteers idea of the Police arresting all and sundry at the drop of a hat while insisting that no complaints be recorded against them unless accompanied by DNA evidence and CCTV footage.....

 ... And never mind all the Gadgeteers babbling on about 'civvies', like they've just spent the morning clearing out a pair of 88s dug in on Hill 239, instead of dealing with chavs texting death threats to each other.

That's Not The BBC TV I Was Thinking Of

Our completely impartial national broadcaster brings us this:

n an effort to support and positively address transgender roles on mainstream comedy television shows, the BBC has teamed up with artist collective Trans Comedy to bestow upon upcoming writers the Trans Comedy Award. Specifically BBC Writersroom, an ongoing program that helps scribes develop projects for the BBC, is offering talented writers up to £5,000 (about $8,000) to use toward producing a television pilot.

Well, they've certainly got the parody thing covered, albeit probably not in the way they were intending.

Hey, it's a free country, so if some guys want to get together to eat, drink and be Mary, why not? I'm just not sure why licence payers should be expected to pay for it, and especially so when the organisation that wants to 'positively address transgender roles' steadfastly refuses to call the guy with a bomb vest a 'terrorist' in the name of bogus objectivity.

The MSM: Shagging A Dead Horse

The MSM has been waiting years to use the phrases 'UKIP official' and 'BNP supporter' in the same sentence but now they get the chance, they've decided he's the good guy.

 Hmmmm..... a guy could almost think the MSM's 24-7 Hitler Watch round UKIP headquarters was not, in fact, inspired by a genuine fear of a Forth Reich after all. Meanwhile, we have further proof that there is no better way to go from a Nasty Nazi to a Romantic Rebel than to denounce real conservatives. Call it the Portillo Effect.

Not to give aid and comfort to the enemy, but I'm not sure the left has thought this all out. This guy may just have exposed the hollowness of their position.

The idea, I think, is to depict the right as a bunch of uptight squares who want to hash everyone's mellow. It's true this dude wants to throw off all those pesky restrictions on gay marriage but he also wants to go the whole hog and bang pretty much anything that moves, or at least used to move.

Hey, why not? If you're going to go blank slate, go big. On the plus side, incest means you don't have to bother with that same old argument every year about whose parents to have Christmas Dinner with. Ditto, necrophilia is surely just like married sex, only more so. As for the bestiality, at least you can domesticate some animals, which is more than anyone's ever managed with red heads. Still, this does kind of beg the question. Isn't all this pretty much what traditionalists have been saying is the problem with the whole marriage as an Etch-A-Sketch thing?

Conservatives support traditional morality because it's tried and tested. This guy wants to go the other way and let his freak flag fly. At least he's consistent. Meanwhile, liberals always claim to defend traditional morality, except for the bits they're attacking right now, but never can quite say what differentiates them from the guys asking 'was that good for ewe'?

Markers of No Appearance

This is bizarre!

Burglars leaving marks for each other? Who knew Lefty and Fingers had such a trade union spirit? It's not like there's a whole community of felons travelling round the country, is there?

Send The Bill To Shami

Who'd have thunk it: an Islamonazi lunatic not cooperating with law enforcement? Honestly, it's getting so you can't trust anyone these days.

Mind you, I haven't checked the latest reports from the courts this week. Are we sure they haven't found a human right to abscond?

 In related news, liberals won't trust a country GP to keep a pistol round the house becuase that would be dangerous.

Liberalism Ate Socialism

Looks like the lefties are having another one of their endless discussions about how they can bamboozle normal people into signing up to their loony agenda.

Laban's right about one aspect of the problem, but then there's stuff like this.

I don't think that's exactly how the Good Samaritan did it.

Charidee staff with gold-plated pensions is just one aspect of the sheer weirdness of modern liberalism. How did we get to the point where soi dissant socialists demand the right to bleed the public dry so as to feather bed their pals in the public sector (actual and fake charity divisions)? The working man is paying taxes to provide the bratty meeja studies graduate daughters of the liberal elite with non-jobs as recycling coordinators and five a day officers. Isn't that pretty much what the Labour Party was set up to oppose?

Dept of the Unprepared

Uh oh... looks like Christmas has snuck up on us again.

There's only one thing to do: unleash the elves!

Chumps Dumped

Like I keep saying, the thing with Cameron is not that he's reliably disgusting, it's that he manages to find new ways to be appalling every time. Too busy to sign letters?

Really?
 
Mind you, these guys are idiots too. As if His Magnificence Sultan David I would ever really be interested in advice from people in 'trade'. They were just the political equivalent of groupies and they got treated like groupies. If these alleged top business brains can't work that out for themselves, that probably explains more about why British business is screwed than anything to do with the exchange rate or inflation.

About Those Non-Political Chief Constables....

An insight from the Good Old Days before elected police commissars politicised our wonderful boys in blue:

But he is more than just a survivor, as we reported: “Such is his power in the corridors of Westminster and his influence on the important Asian vote to Labour that a lavish party to celebrate his 25th year in parliament in July was attended by Tony Blair, David Miliband, Theresa May and Bernard Hogan-Howe, the Metropolitan Police Commissioner.”

How very independent. Doubtless he'll be right on top of the whole Mitchell thing...

This Is What The Left Means By 'Cut Backs'

....No more £300 chairs for school kids.

It's also the perfect exemplar of the left's utter inability to understand real achievement. They wanted to create a socialist Eton and so they ordered fancy chairs?

Really? Is that what liberals think is the secret of Eton's success: really high quality seating?

But remember, parents can't be trusted with school vouchers because they just don't know what makes a good school....

Crivens! It's The Community of No Appearance

Don't trust the courts. They might be forced into jailing scum when they're under pressure, but as soon as they think the spotlight has moved on, all bets are off.

It gets better:

But Miss Rebecca Wade, for Yasin, said... 'He has been vilified within the community and while you would expect a significant level of outrage, this has gone beyond, the case has been all over the national press

Wait... he shouldn't be jailed because the press has reported accurately on what he did? When did being called what you are make you a victim?

As for the 'vilified in the community' thing.... bitch, please. I'll believe 'the community' really does vilify this guy when he gets at least as much condemnation from this mysterious community as some guy who draws Mo-toons.

Lest We Forget....

While even Special Ed Milliband is running for cover from the Rotherham fiasco - although not to the extent of expelling anyone from his allegedly moderate, middle of the road party - it's worth winding the tape back and hearing what Cast Iron Dave's Nu Tory Party used to say about these people:

Social workers are too often vilified for creating problems rather than given due credit for the work they do with the vulnerable, a senior Conservative politician said today.

Tim Loughton, the shadow children's minister, told the National Children's Services Commissioning Conference in London that social workers are caricatured as a result of general ignorance about what they actually do.

Loughton, who also chairs the Conservatives' commission on social work, attacked what he described as the "deeply corrosive situation where too many social workers are seen as part of the problem rather than an integral part of the solution".

Good call, Timmy! Yes, indeed, another one of Cast Iron Dave's Certified Super Genius Squad gives the bumpkins a finger-wagging lecture about how they just don't get it, and then it all goes horribly wrong. It's almost like there's a pattern here.

There's a chicken and egg aspect to all this too. As Britain's sexiest blogger said at the time, Loughton's despicable position was a renunciation of the principles of both conservationism and democratic governance. No wonder liberal fanatics feel free to use innocent children as pawns.

The case in Rotherham is the perfect barometer of the utter failure of Nu Tory Cringe Conservatism to achieve much of anything. They came, they saw, they hung around for a bit.

Hey, Let's Do The Show Right Here!

Given that the US electorate now apparently believes that paying for stuff isn't their problem, it looks like one pop culture meme is exactly backasswards. We're not turning into their 51st State, they're turning into our fifth country.

Compare how Ogabe talks about the 'rich' versus how Salmond talks about the 'English' and you'll see what I mean.

All of which means that the engine of the global economy has gone a bit Austin Allegro and China is free to rampage around the Pacific (so if you were wanting to get a PS3, don't wait too long), but it's not all bad news though.

Hey, I can well understand why British conservatives are so interested in US politics. Let's face it, it's great to see at least one country where the conservative movement is lifey and making the intellectual running, but at a certain point all this Yank-watching becomes a displacement activity. We can learn a lot from US conservatives, but we actually need to do something with that knowledge. Now America has hit the rocks, we can tear our eyes away from the no-longer shining city upon a hill and start sorting out our own favela.

Drop The Hanky, Sunshine, You're Nicked!

First we had the Karaoke Squad, now we've got the War on Offensive....Dancing?

 Hey, well, I can kind of see their point. These guys are kind of weird, but offensive?

This is one of those times when the officer concerned should be suspended without pay until he can summerise in less than 100 words what *exactly* is offensive about the Hey Noney, Noney crowd.

Are we sure it wasn't actually Eric Pickles in fancy dress trying to drive up the turn out for the Commissioner elections? If we hear a case next Sunday about a Priest getting busted for serving booze without a license, you'll know they're doing it deliberately.

On the plus side, at least the dancers got off lightly. You know how the police are about guys with sticks.

I See What You Did There

Dan Hodges is the latest of several million liberals to try and concoct a defence for our completely impartial national broadcaster and he's come up with a line that, in terms of sheer brass neck, is worthy of his old boss Princess Tony himself.

Apparently, we need to let the boys in blue get on with the job. 

You know, just like Blair did with the Macpherson report.

The left's record of serial cop hating aside, you have to admire the sleight of hand. Sure, it's a matter for law enforcement to investigate whether or not anything the BBC did rises to the level of actual criminality, but when it comes to justifying soaking the public for three billion and change a year, 'not committing any actual felonies' doesn't really cut it.

Who knows whether anything George Entwhistle has done is actually illegal? Not me, but I do know he acts like a slippery weasel when perfectly reasonable questions are raised by the people who employ him. Given the choice, who on Earth would employ him if they had to pay his salry with their own money?

This is what liberals do. They claim the right to torment private businesses in the name of accountability, but when their own people are under fire, nothing less than conviction in a court of law counts. Hence the BBC's new slogan 'You can't prove nuffink, guv'.

Science Is Hard

So, like, why don't we just make it up?

Of course, UEA have never produced anything but fiction anyway.

The Van Was White....

And that's as much info as the MSM is prepared to let us know about events in Cardiff. Other than that, we need to go to Standard Operating Procedure for Men of No Appearance related events, and start reading between the lines... like the BBC's reference to 'community leaders'... no doubt a reference to the Church of Christ the Delivery Guy. On the plus side, the BBC does reassure us that:

Supt Julian Williams, of South Wales Police, said: "This is a tragic incident that has affected a large number of people, and we thank the people of Cardiff for their help and support. "Incidents like this are extremely rare here, as they are across south Wales, and we want to reassure the public that a significant number of officers are working on the investigation, including a number of specialist resources."

Hey, what kind of specialist resources, Jules?

Jules? 

Guess we'll never know. At least it's just a series of hit and runs... despite what those nutters in the VRWC will try and convince you.

In one attack a couple pushing a pram were targeted and the baby was tossed into the air by the impact, landing several feet away. In another, the driver got out of the vehicle to club two men with a steering wheel lock at a petrol station forecourt before getting back into the van and driving off, running over two women over as he sped away.

Then again, that is from notorious right-wing rag, the Independent, so who knows? It's not like you can get a good look at a guy while he's beating two blokes senseless on a station forecourt. If only there was some way of recording what happened then playing it back at a later date...

Usual disclaimer follows: it could just a guy called David Jones, driven mad by the lousy weather, but after decades of brutal violence by members of the Men of No Appearance gang, I think we're entitled to be a little sceptical about reports of violence by 'men' (and that goes double where the MSM is trying to convince us that attacking guys with steering locks counts as a 'hit and run'). Either way, next time the MSM warns us about the threat to a free press from naughty old Brian Levenson, bear these reports in mind for an example of how the press deals with contentious issues right now.

"Motiveless"

Hey, it's not like this guy was singing 'Kung Fu Fighting' or anything, right?

Shami's New Friends

Reminder: Shameless Shami, the human rights hustler, claims government moves to restore (partially) the right to self-defence are a bad idea because it will make it too easy to victimise guys

like this.

'Road Rage'?

Well played, DM, well played.

 I bet hardly anyone noticed the elephant in the driver's seat.

Reminder: The Civil Liberty Lobby Is A Fraud

The Government finally takes action to restore the right to self-defence, and looks who's there to celebrate:

The plan was attacked by the civil liberties group Liberty, whose director Shami Chakrabarti said: ‘Terrified householders defending themselves are already protected, so the irresponsible announcement can only be designed to make people afraid or actually encourage vigilante execution.’

Yep: vigilantes lying in wait in their beds.

 Or possibly sleeping. Who can tell?

The left's attitude to self-defence has always relied on the assumption that a gang of career criminals kicking down someone's door at 4 AM are just loveable Jack-the-Lads while householders are all homicidal lunatics. Mind you, even that's better than soi-dissant civil libertarians suddenly deciding that you just can't trust the plebs with 'rights' and the state knows best.

As Britain's most consistently brilliant blogger once pointed out, if liberals truly believe that the current laws on self-defence don't have a chilling effect on the public, they surely won't mind if we extend the principle to other areas, hmmm?

"Two Brothers"

It's almost like there's some kind of pattern to all this.

Two brothers have been jailed for a raft of sexual offences including pimping out young girls to workers at a curry house for £150 sex sessions.

Ahdel Ali, 24, was sentenced to 18 years in prison, while his 29-year-old brother Mubarek was handed a 14-year-term by Judge Patrick Thomas QC at Worcester Crown Court.

During the brothers' trial the court heard that the two men systematically groomed young girls for after hour sex sessions at the restaurant.

Note the location too. Apparently, it isn't just some kind of weird 'Northern' thing, after all. Maybe it's an allergic reaction to the spices in the curry?

What 'Islamo-Marxist' Alliance?

But remember: it's the people who want to introduce school choice and cut taxes who are totally like Hitler:

The provocative painting has appeared on a wall in the predominantly Muslim area of Brick Lane in East London, once a thriving Jewish community.

The mural, by international graffiti artist Mear One, shows moustachioed and hooked-nosed bankers huddled around a Monopoly board supported on the backs of the working class, seemingly drawing on long outdated Jewish stereotypes.

On the plus side, they're taking firm action and painting over it.

Take that!

Hey, I'm all in favour of free speech and all, but I can't help but notice a certain double standard.....

Men Of Nightclub Attacks

Not sure clubbing it isn't haaram, but it's a sign of the times when you get more detail in the horoscopes than on the news pages.

Reality Is Banned

And talking of the BBC, apparently it's now verboten to assume that a facial disfigurement is disfiguring.

Isn't that liberals all over? If liberals ran a restaurant, they wouldn't worry about half the patrons going down with botulism, but you'd get thrown out for using the wrong one of the 87 knives.

As I Was Saying....

So now we know: while the BBC was running approximately eleventy billion pieces about 'paedo priests', they were covering for a predator in their own ranks.

Personally, I'm shocked - shocked - to find that the BBC has been sticking two fingers up to any rational standards of decency or accountability, but consider what else it says about their standards. In amongst criticising the Church for being too soft on paedophiles, the BBC has criticised the anti-paedophile movement for being too tough on the low-life.

The BBC has thrown every pot and pan it can lay its hands on at anyone who criticises the legal system's appeasement of paedophiles. They've complained about supposed vigilantism, claimed it's a threat to artistic freedom, cited bogus studies of successful rehabilitation and so on, ad infinitum, and all the time they insisted they totally did oppose paedophiles too, and it was just they genuinely thought that any tactic anyone ever suggested to combat them was wrong, wrong, wrong.

Now we find out that the real reason the BBC didn't like the anti-paedophile movement was becuase it just didn't think paedophilia was that big a thing. Cool out, daddeo. Each to his own, huh?

It's always like that. Just as 'anti-zionists' always turn out to be people who think Mel Gibson is a bold truth teller, so the folks complaining about the tactics of the anti-paedophile movement always turn out to be people who don't oppose it anyway.

MSM Self-Awareness Fail

A Telelgraph blogger asks why the 'Rochdale grooming' was allowed to happen. Probably the same reason why the MSM uses slippery euphamisms like 'Rochdale grooming' and turns off comments on posts, eh, Ruthie?

It's A Trap

Yes, it's great that the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy's plan to dope m'luds porridge with anti-psychotics is finally bearing fruit, but on the other hand:

Sentencing the pair to four years in prison, the judge told them: 'If you burgle a house in the country where the householder owns a legally held shotgun, that is the chance you take'.

I guess we're lucky it wasn't mitigation then, they'd be probably be out by Christmas. Meanwhile, don't be shocked but....

Mansell and O’Gorman, who both have no fixed address.....

I did not see that coming.

It's A Real Three Pipe Problem, Watson

What could possibly have persuaded the Filth to hire this guy?

That Was Kind Of The Point...

Alan @ B-BBC notes a certain difference in tone in the BBC's reporting of South Yorkshire Police's two adventures in creative writing.

He's got a point, but coming back at you, Al!

Up until a week ago, anyone saying the official story of Hillsborough was total balls was clearly a tinfoil hat wearing loon. Besides, Scousers! Even though, well,...you know.

Now we know that the main mistake us sceptics made was lack of imagination. Who knew that even the families' own lawyers were in on it? Are we supposed to be shocked that, contrary to popular mythology, SYP aren't an otherwise blameless organisation driven mad by the strain of dealing with Scousers?

The whole point folks like me were making was that you can't be slightly corrupt. Once you accept that it's OK for police officers to file false reports, destroy CCTV footage and release bogus press statements, there's no getting off the bus. That's Conservatism 101. It's the left and their libertarian pals that keeps telling us, hey, a little bit of corruption/perversion/cannibalism etc doesn't make someone a bad person.

Well, not necessarily, but that's the way to bet.

"That Was No Lady, That Was My Fourth Wife"

Give it up Liberals! It's going to take more than 'Al Teri and Jhuan' to convince anyone that these freaks are sane.

On the plus side, at least we've got a leg up on who's behind the next wave of bombings.

Liberals: Focused Like A Laser On The Key Issues

One teenager stabs another teenager to death on a London street, and m'lud focuses on the key issue:

Judge Nicholas Cooke warned parents to be aware of the dangers to young girls wearing such combs as 'fashion accessories'.

He said: 'We heard evidence that a pintail comb can be used as a lethal weapon.

'We heard it can be worn in the hair as a fashion accessory.

'It can be as effective a killing instrument as a stiletto knife. It is not a very nice thing to have in your hair.'

Yes, indeed, that's the lesson of this case: the dangers of accessorising.

It doesn't even work as an argument. The more m'lud blames it on Vidal Sassoon, the more you have to go there: isn't the real issue with an... ahem... communidee where wearing a lethal weapon in your hair is considered normal?

Hey, sounds to me like an argument for some kind of power for the police to check for hidden weapons. We could even call it 'stop and search'.

Oops, just checked: there were no white guys involved so it's back as you were. Just one of them things, guv. Worse things happen at sea, you know.

Mind you, at least the Fashion Police might get some support from the Courts, because it looks like they've have opted out of dealing with real crimes:

Douglas, who had been sleeping rough at friends’ houses, was ordered to serve a minimum of 10 years after being convicted of murder last month.

I don't think bad hair styling is our biggest problem.

Feminism: A Wholly-Owned Subsidiary of the Left

Dorothy, please!

Is anyone really surprised that the people who claim endlessly that everything in the world is 'just like rape' have suddenly decided sex without consent is nothing like rape?

Forget the ranting about how all men are rapists, it's always been noticeable that they don't seem to mind the men who really are rapists. Consider Exhibit A.

Yep, six years, or as we say oop North, 'three years'. That'll teach him.

If feminists were really that bothered about rape, they'd stop with the insane conspiracy theories about 'rape culture' and start protesting Turn 'Em Loose Bruce and the rest of his pals on the bench.

Ah yes.

That is the problem. That would bring them into conflict with the rest of the left, mired as it is in relativistic, 'who are we to say', moral squalor. And then there's Julian Rubbish PhD and the thousands - even tens of thousands- of leftists making a life and a living pushing pseudo-scientific drivel in the rehab industry. It turns out that rape is, like, kind of bad, but it's not worth the risk of liberals having to get real jobs.

Mister, We Could Use A Man Like Joe McCarthy Right About Now

Well, this certainly kills the myth that the chattering classes are soft on perverts.

It says a lot about where we're at as a society that our alleged betters insist that convicted paedophiles aren't dangerous, but passive smoking is. Apparently, it's true: enlightenment is just depravity gone to college.

But wait.... Tristan D'Arcy Hipster just e-mailed to say that there's no need to worry, our professional law enforcement personnel are on standby, ready to leap into action if any more offences are committed. Yes, indeed, just as soon as a threat appears the police will spring into action in a matter of months.

If this society really was in the grip of a 'paedo panic' we'd at least have MPs prepared to ask why these investigations are always pursued with all the vigour of an arthritic snail with a serious hangover.

It's The MIA-List

So farewell then, Louise Mensch, you were... kind of rubbish, actually.

But who'd have thunk that a whiny, professional victim parachuted into a provincial constituency would bail just as soon as she was expected to do some actual work?

Apparently, it may not have been have been just bigotry that explains why Louise and pals needed The Dave to foist them on the bumpkins. The average member of a constituency selection panel might not be on the guest list at anywhere hip, but they can spot a Wrong 'Un - they do better than the World's Smartest Man can, anyway.

All of which does kind of hint at just why the Tories are doing so badly. The A-List meant constituency parties, people who knew the local area and had years of experience in politics, were swept aside in favour of insular Metropolitan luvvies with impeccable media connections.

It's the perfect embodiment of Cameronism, combining both his narcissism - superficial nods to diversity to the contrary, these folks were virtually all from the same social circles as The Dave - and his superficial view of what government requires. These guys certainly looked and sounded just like MPs yet, unaccountably, it turns out that posturing hipsters are no good at waging the trench warfare required to actually get stuff done.

Hey, You Know What We Need More Of Round Here?

Enrichment!

I don't think it's 'Islamophobia' that's holding these people back...

Liberals Support Civil Liberties, Conservatives Support Real Ones

An Umanrites lawyer takes note of the rise of the Five-ohs Twitter Squad and announces that strong action must be taken.... to stop people saying stuff on twitter.

Somehow, 'Chilling Effect' doesn't quite capture the full effect of the suggestion that Twitter users should all but have the boys sent round to make sure they don't get no funny ideas about that there free speech rubbish.

Compare & Contrast: Special Death Threat Edition

Now that Dorset Police are busily trying to justify acting as enforcers for an over-exposed celebrity by claiming it was all about the death threats, it's worth remembering that the self-same force haven't always been so worried about the whole 'threat' thing...

Clearly, there are threats and there are threats.

On Second Thoughts....

That Opening Ceremony, huh?

A filthy rich liberal takes a bunch of cash off of ordinary people and uses it to tell them they suck, and the left want to fire anyone who points that out.

Actually, that sounds like a pretty good representation of modern Britain. All it needed to seal the deal was a helicopter to fly in at the end and whisk the celebs off to the Heathrow and the next flight to LA.

Socialism: The Hate That Dare Not Speak Its Name

Liberals are enragedly enraged! that some folks on the right aren't thrilled about an Olympic opening ceremony worthy of Team America's Kim Jong Il.

Why you got be such a square-oh!

Hmmm... let's wind the tape back a month or so.

Ah yes.

Back then, not being swept up in a national celebration, even as meticulously an unpolitical one as the Jubilee, was a perfectly valid position to take. It's only now that the left has decided that the true meaning of Britishness is mindless obedience to authority.

All of which neatly brings me on to His Magnificence Sultan Dave. We're supposed to be shocked that he's set the dogs on an MP that's come out against the left's hijacking of the Olympics ceremony. And?

It's the perfect summation of what two years of Cameronism has wrought. Which is to say nothing. They 'cut too far, and too fast' except socialist weasels like Danny Boyle are still using public money to celebrate their hatred of this country. In so far as the opening ceremony was a clunkingly obvious celebration of collectivism, the only real winner of the whole farce is Nigel Farage.

Tory MPs: Will Grovel For Dinner Party Invites

Who'd have thunk it? Stacking the benches full of Metropolitan luvvies is no way to win a culture war.

Actually, it's even worse than lefty Hodge realises. These people never have any qualms about attacking the right. All bets are off when the target is, say, UKIP. All of which proves that these people have no problem with putting the boot in per se, it's just they lack the courage to do it when that might result in a sneery article from their fellow elitists at the Guardian.

Don't Mention The...

He's a 'French' athlete, doncha'know?

Thatcher Destroyed The Nostalgia Industry

He's right about this, but it goes even deeper.

We keep getting told that the right needs to move on from Thatcherism (meaning: actual conservatism) but it's always from people who insist that the nothing that's happened since 1948 should in any way impact on the structure of the NHS, the War on Poverty is always within measurable distance of its end and all British industry really needs is the return of Fred Kite. When are the left going to move on from the Attlee years?

Government Faces Up To The Kebab Menace

As far as this goes, three things come to mind:

i/ I'll believe it when I see it

ii/Does he mean 'closed' in the traditional sense of 'not open' or in the modern sense of 'wide open providing you keep lodging super, special, emergency appeals against deportation for the next fifty years'?

iii/ Greece? Really? This is what's finally convinced him of the need for border security? There's not much to say about Athens, but it sure beats Mogadishu.

Mind you, sleazy and self-serving though the Nu Tories may be, when it comes to stupid, you can't beat the left:

Denis MacShane, the former Labour Europe minister, was among those who criticised Mrs May when the suggestion of border controls was first raised...

“And of course, if we ban every Greek from coming into Britain, the Greeks will ban every Brit from going into Greece – that's a great start to the holiday season

... although in fairness to McShameless, it's probably difficult to distinguish between welfare tourists and the real thing when you can't even tell the diffference between an office and a garage.

You Can't Fix Crazy

The real lesson of this is summed up by the commentor who says that it really should mark the end of any attempts to not offend these loons.

Me, I think of it like the old Charles Atlas adverts, where the big bully kicks sand into the face of the seven-stone weakling.... except with liberals following on behind the bully loudly claiming that the weedy guy was obviously provoking him.

Lefty Argument Clinic

It's a mystery how the Smartest People In The Room keep driving off cliffs.

Admittedly, not as much of a mystery as how many copies of alleged publishing monster hit 'Chavs' were actually sold, but it's still an interesting question anyway.

Actually, on second thoughts, no it isn't. It's just two sides of the same coin. We're assured Owen is da voice of da yoof - even though there's no evidence da yoof - or anyone else - is buying it, either literally or figuratively. Ditto, we're assured that Owen and pals are radical intellectuals, smashing the cosy concensus of us tabloid-addled drones even though... well, you know:

an argument is an intellectual process, while contradiction is just the automatic gainsaying of anything the other person says

Nope, that pretty much is most lefty arguments. Us knuckle-draggers say something and wild'n'wacky rebel tigers like Owen No-Figures say the opposite.

Take that you Mail reading white trash!

Making sense is an optional extra - the main point is the Owen and pals really, really hate low-income whites with ideas above their station.

Outrage D'Jour: My Pension Fund Went To India And All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt

At least Brown only robbed a chunk of your pension. Now Gideon wants the rest.

Yes, indeed, it's the opportunity to invest into infrastructure projects - and you know it must be good because, by defnition, these are projects no one in the private sector will touch.

No, wait..... that can't be right.

Say, you don't think there's a potential for corruption when big companies are being invited to invest their pension funds into supporting vanity projects proposed by the self-same politicians who award large government contracts?

Animal Farm: It's Meant To Be A Warning, Not An Inspiration

I've been trying to think of something suitably snarky to say about Professional Yorkshireman William 'Squealer' Hague's warning that if we don't shape up, the government's going to fire us and elect a new public.

Actually, that might not be so far off the mark, given their support for open borders.

Still, leaving that aside, how can you mock these people when they do such a good job of it themselves?

I mean, there's this and then there's this..... oh, and this.

Mind you, at least this has a certain Pythonesque charm. They probably wanted to discuss defence policy too, but the rowing machine was broke.

All of which is by way of returning to the point I keep making: Cameron is a really huge fraud. We kept being told that, sure, he might be an ideological lightweight, but he's a political genius and a natural leader of men. Now it turns out that his Big Idea is berating the galley slaves for not rowing fast enough. Really? How long did it take him to come up with that one?

His government will suck up 50p in every pound, but the state of the country's nowt to do with him, so hand over your wallet then get back to work, you slackers.

Bad News Everybody!

We're All Crazy!!!!!

Also, if you're wondering why people are getting paid to produce this garbage, that proves you hate science. Meanwhile, still no word on the location of the original temperature readings the UEA claims to have used.

France is Frucked

Mind you, with Cast Iron Dave defending us from EU intrusions, it can only be a matter of time....

Stephen Lawrence Redux

Someone remind me: wasn't one of the main charges against the police at the Macpherson witch hunt that they intially failed to treat the murder as racially-motivated?

I only mention it because... well, you know.

On the plus side, at least the police didn't take half a decade to decide he was really dead.

Instinct tells me that the Macpherson principle, that crimes are racially-motivated if the victim or any third party thinks they are, will now be quietly dropped.

A vote of thanks too for the femiloons. They've now managed to top years of pushing absurd false rape claims by a blind refusal to acknowledge actual rapes.

Apparently, the victims should have lain back and thought of Marx.

All of which is by way of saying Ed West is wrong. It's not about victimhood, it's about promoting savagery. Liberals instinctively defend whichever side is most opposed to civilisation. That's why Saddam Hussain, Gary Glitter and Mozzam Begg have all received the liberal sob sister treatment.

It's the left's own version of the Confessional: simply recite ten 'Death to Americas' and be reborn as a Certified Liberal Icon. For proof of that, look no further than the Guardian's glowing tribute to this 'warm, funny and blunt' charmer.

You Know You're A Liberal If....

You read this as a criticism of Castro.

Education: Latest Score

Passive aggressive girly men want to control Junior's Facebook use, but if he can't read, then that's all the fault of society, Toricutz, Big Corporations and Mossad, and nowt to do with our £60K pa Net Nannies

Bold Attenpt To Improve Local Government Fails

Hey, at least we'd finally have one who didn't take more backhanders than Andy Murray.

Actually, my favourite bit is the line about the police seizing the mannequin. Yes, indeed: I think we all feel much safer knowing there's one less plastic representation of the human form out there on our streets.

Quote of the Day

Ed West sums it up brilliantly:

When wealthy, globe-trotting liberals espouse the cause of universalism they often describe it in terms of air travel and airports, a world of vibrant, diverse, cross-cultural pollination. Which is great, for the few wealthy enough to use business class. For the rest of us society has become exactly like an airport – endless security checks, CCTV, government snooping, armed police and all-powerful officials who will arrest you for an inappropriate remark.

The Supreme Leader Is Dead!

I can't be the only one whose noticed a change in tone in the communiques from the bunker these last couple of weeks. His Magnificance Sultan David I has been replaced by Downtrodden Dave, the poor guy who just can't get a break.

Here's an early example.

Yep, Dave would've gotten away it if it wasn't for those meddling conservatives.

Actually, the whole thing is virtually self-refuting. How else to describe a lecture on electability from a Cameroon? And that's without mentioning that the Tea Party folks actually won their elections.

Hipsters: Still Reliably Disgusting

Shorter O'Neill: Admire the sophistication of my refusal to condemn even outright insanity.

Like night following day, any outbreak of sadistic lunacy will be followed by the MSM's hipster contingent paying generous tribute to their own courage in refusing to condemn the killer. Free clue: it's only courageous if everyone else in the chattering class bubble isn't saying the exact same thing. For an MSM opinion writer to denounce the man on the Clapham omnibus as an unsophisticated brute is about as brave as George Galloway's warm up man denoucing Israel.

Hey, 'devil child' may lack nuance, but at least it also lacks any pretence to bogus insight. Meanwhile, O'Neall wants Dangerous Dan to get 'help and education'. Like what? 'Not Murdering People 101'? A quick course of aromatherapy? Colonic irrigation?

Hey, at least give us a hint here hipsters!

But no: their point is an essentially fradulent one. They want to contrast their own support for Therapy Nation versus the supposedly punative nature of the mob, but what's so sophiticated about their position? The science behind the rehab industry is about as reliable as a UEA climate model. O'Neall even cites the Bulger killers himself - the rehab industries' own flagship case, where despite a blank cheque and a policy of turning a blind eye to a string of offences, 50% of them still ended up back in jail anyway.

Hey, can you imagine how bad the figures are on the cases they don't want to talk about?

This is another case where conservatives have let liberals set the terms of the debate. It's not imprisonment versus rehab, it's the certainty of public protection versus pseudo-scientific garbage. Supporting the clowns and charlatans in the rehab industry is no more an intellectual position than believing your horoscope, and at least Jonathan Cainer doesn't want to set the Mad Axeman loose.

More Butt$ex May Not Be The Answer

After last week's events, I just have one question: how many £250,000 dinners did it take for Shell to persuade the Tories to start this whole panic-buying thing?

Meanwhile, Francis Maude is the latest Tory to find out that you can go to bed with the left, but they won't respect you in the morning. The MSM would pretend to respect Maude as long as he was prepared to throw real conservatives under the bus, but as soon as he was no longer of use to them, he went from a courageous moderniser to Tim Nice-But-Dim's senile uncle.

All of which raises an obvious point: Maude and pals defended their purges as the unfortunate price the Tory Party had to pay for electoral credibility (and that was how the Tories got their 200 seat majority). Now it's Frankie who's exposed as a Toxic Toff the logic of the modernisers surely demands that he be given the 'no place in the modern conservative party' treatment. But, apparently, this is one triangulation too far. They do have to have some principles, and if the Conservative Party stands for anything at all, it stands for the right of privileged prats to behave like idiots without consequences.

Latest Scores From The Rainbow Nation Challenge Cup

Jailed.

Not jailed.

Apparently, the left's new slogan is 'Prison Works (Terms & Conditions Apply)'.

On the plus side, at least there wasn't a racial aspect to the Brixton shooting.

Supporters gathered outside the shop to jeer the emergency services. As paramedics fought to save her, one even asked a policeman why they were bothering as the victim was 'just a Paki'.

Dang! Guess we'll have to push back completion date for the Rainbow Utopia again. Doubtless, our Nation's Witch Finder General Trevor Philips will be along to speak out about this any time now....

Reality Is Reactionary

We haven't had some Steyn for a while, so here he is getting to the heart of the matter:

Let's take it as read that Rick Santorum is weird. After all, he believes in the sanctity of life, the primacy of the family, the traditional socio-religious understanding of a transcendent purpose to human existence. Once upon a time, back in the mists of, ooh, the mid–20th century, all these things were, if not entirely universal, sufficiently mainstream as to be barely worthy of discussion. Now they're not. Isn't the fact that conventional morality is now "weird" itself deeply weird? The instant weirdification of ideas taken for granted for millennia is surely mega-weird — unless you think that our generation is possessed of wisdom unique to human history. In which case, why are we broke?

Or, indeed, why is the education system collapsing, the crime rate skyrocketing or the myriad other things going south at a rate of knots?

In many ways liberal social policy is like a real life version of one of the UEAs dodgy climate models, where whatever you plug into it, the Earth turns into ball of fire. We're not supposed to notice that the Earth remains stubbornly inhabitable, just like we're not supposed to notice that increasingly large parts of our cities aren't. If there was as much evidence of carbon emissions damaging the global environment as there is of liberalism damaging the social environment, conservatives would be riding to work on Raleighs. Meanwhile, liberals climb atop the rubble and insist that they're the Smartest People In The Room, and anyone who disagrees is some kind of creepy wierdo.

If They Really Wanted To Offend People, They Should Have Dressed As Real Scientists

It's outrageously outrageous!

No wonder they got in trouble. They clearly don't know what's expected of them at the UEA. They should have waited until they won one match then called themselves league champions, since if you extrapolate from that result across the whole season, they were clearly unbeatable.

Equally, if they did lose any games, they could just replace their results with those of the football team to hide the decline in performance. Then they could conspire with other teams to get anyone who beat them thrown out of the league, all that while claiming that league games are the only true test of skill.

If anyone questioned their claims, they could just say the sheet with the results had been accidentally thrown away, then delete any remaining copies.

Meanwhile, some of us are asking why we should trust folks at the UEA to predict the weather a hundred years from now when they can't even predict that a fancy dress party for student rugby players would turn out to a huge drunken blow-out?

Rainbow Nation Postponed Again

Like I keep saying, you can cut a deal with the Left, but they won't respect you in the morning. Now here's the ultimate proof.

The old line says that the most commonly heard phrase at Labour conferences is 'And what do you teach?', but now even the German Department is unter dem bus.

My favourite bit was the complaint that too many teachers were monolingual. Hey, the authors could be Welsh Nationalists, but I'm guessing it's the fact English people keep speaking English in England that offends them. Apparently, expecting pupils to learn our official language as part of their education is raycist. Think of it as the Dr Strangelove Rule: gentlemen, gentlemen, you can't learn stuff here, this a school.

Mind you, the use of the phrase 'little discussion of issues surrounding ethnicity' deserves some kind of award for chutzpah above and beyond the call of duty. That's the only thing half these losers will discuss.

On the plus side, at least the following quote kills the myth that professional leftists are a bunch of creepy, fascist weirdos:

Give the remaining white middle class teachers a very large dose of equality training and make it regular and continuous in case they lapse into their old blinkered ways.

Hmmm.... anyone know if a senior academic fantasising about forcing women to take part in humiliating rituals in an attempt to produce brain-washed drones is better or worse than calling a slut a 'slut'?

Really, we need to know, but until then enjoy the spectacle of another part of the Left's Grand Coalition falling apart. The white men have already been driven out of teaching, but Utopia still haven't arrived. Clearly the answer is even more quotas and victimhood.

This Is Why Your Taxes Are Going Up

Yes, it's true: Austerity Britain is paying people to count the stick figures in exam questions.

On the plus side, there may yet come a day when it's quite normal for patients to be seen by an Indian doctor.

Actually, this is a rare PC double: while they're dealing with the non-existent problem of Sikh under-achievement, they're also deflecting pressure to deal with the - actual, real - problem of male under-achievement. Boys aren't failing in schools becuase of lack of representation in exam questions any more than Tehran is Judenfrei becuase of a shortage of kosher delis.

Question D'Jour

Deliberate or not? An almost textbook example of the Men of No Appearance school of reporting is unfortunatly marred by the revelation that these mysterious 'youths' were shouting 'get the whities'.

Dang! Don't you just hate it when that happens?

Confirmed: Supporting The Dave Causes Insanity

Really: the cognitive dissonance on show here is a sight to behold.

To be fair though, full credit to QL for grasping something that passes most Professional Conservatives by: the left uses these quangos to push through stuff they would never dare bring up where the public would have a chance to vote against it. The only problem is that saying all that just rams home the contrast between a bunch of liberal wackadoodles using taxpayers' money to help wreck the country, and a supposed Conservative Party that's looking very strongly at moving towards putting in place mechanisms to consider the possible implementation of policies to potentially restrict the ability of said wackadoodles to give a shedload of cash to the Mohammed Siddiq Khan Memorial Scholarship Fund.

New Cameron Statement: 'I Did Not Have Sex With That Horse, Miss Raisa'

Hey, why not? After a week of ever-changing stories plus his desperate desire to be seen taking on mostly mythical right-wing extremists, who'd bet against him announcing he was involved in a stable relationship?

There's the obvious point that this last week of farce proves yet again that, no, The Dave is not a political genius, but it also exposes another myth. The Dave isn't a victim of inverted snobbery any more than Diane Abbot is a victim of racism. Forget the specifics, consider the general point: The Dave arranged for a public body to supply some pals of his with public resources, then made use of them himself. That'd still be corrupt even if he was scoring free tickets for the dog track or cans of Special Brew.

Apparently, we misheard: he actually said he was the heir to Cherie Blair.

His problem isn't that he looks like a toff, it's that he looks like what he is: an entitled brat who treats the nation's resources like his own toy box. Compared to giving foreign aid to Argentina or destroying the Libyan government with no idea what to replace it with, using the Met as his own personal stable probably counts as letting Britain off lightly.

What Was It About The Hoplophobic, Race Hustling Fantasist That First Attracted Labour?

Like I keep saying, if liberals are the smartest people in the room, how come they keep falling for obvious hoaxes?

Didn't the idea of a British city with a death toll of Saving Private Ryan proportions strike anyone as a little odd?

Apparently not, in fact, rumour has it they only started to get suspicious when she claimed a ninth family member had been gunned down by Elvis with David Beckham driving the getaway car.

Other than that, there was no reason to suspect anything:

However, documentary makers have discovered that most of the people she had said were dead are still alive.

Gordon has even been seen chatting to some of them on Facebook.

Maybe they got better?

Actually, I think we dodged a bullet there: at least she didn't blame it all on our Eurocentric concepts of 'life' and 'death' and demand a huge grant to serve the needs of the Undead Community.

Mind you, in other respects she's perfectly well qualified to be a member of the Labour party:

However she later emailed the corporations to say: 'I have lost three family members and five very close friends who I consider as family. I realise I may have used words which could be seen as misleading and I do regret this.'

Misleading?

She'll go far.

But What If MI-5 Robbed Grandma...

Liberals write girly plays about crusading liberal journalists fighting for the public's 'right to know' but it turns out that 'Freedom of Information' is only a good thing where it involves counter-terrorism or commerce. Once the topic is something that could embarass liberals, all bets are off. Consider this latest example.

The left will have to find a new argument after decades spent maintaining that robbery with violence is just something invented by the Tory Press to shift papers. And then there's the chance to check if the cops shows on TV are right, and most gang members are middle-class white kids...

Like I keep saying, liberalism can only win by fraud or force. Ordinary citizens reporting stuff that actually happened is their worst nightmare.

Quote of the Day

It may that those who see them on the news will find something distasteful in a minister trying to go about his business being booed, shoved and barracked by a collection of angry demonstrators, many of whom seemed to be untroubled by the pressures of full time employment.

Indeed.

That's the fault line in modern politcs: between squidy left of right of centre Tories on the one hand and faeces-flinging howler monkeys on the other. Liberals think the NHS is a winning issue for them, but with patients starving to death in hospitals, they may want to rethink their strategy of jamming their fingers in their ears and singing 'The Red Flag' every time someone critcises the system.

All the ideas for fixing the NHS are coming from the right. Then again, all the ideas for anything much are coming from the right. Progressives don't actually seem to want to progress anywhere, and instead the Labour Party has turned into the political equivalent of a Seventies bar.

All of which, as ever, proves Cameronism is garbage. There's the obvious point that the sleazy, split the difference, somewhere in the middle wheeling and dealing doesn't really work when your opponents are crazier than an LSD abusing hatter with post-traumatic stress disorder, but there's something deeper going on.

The Tories have, no matter how haltingly, pushed forward with a conservative policy, and the left has exposed itself as a bunch of screeching maniacs. Forget Special Ed's constant attempts to launch Even Newer Labour, these lunatics are the authentic face of the modern left and someone as smart as Cameron keeps telling us he is would be making sure the Labour Party own them.

To the point: liberals aren't having a meltdown because they can win in the marketplace of ideas. Conservatism wins every time it's advanced with conviction and vigour and to the extent that the left is now starting to lose ground on one of their core issues, it's a perfect rebuttal to the apologetic cringe conservatism of the 'respectable right'.

Confirmed: Hoplophobia *Is* A Form Of Insanity

Police take on the menace of fifty-something World War II re-enactors....

Hey, why does that sound familiar?

Mayor: Drebin, I don't want any more trouble like you had last year on the southside. Understand? That's my policy.
Frank: Yes. Well, when I see 5 weirdos dressed in togas stabbing a guy in the middle of the park in full view of 100 people, I shoot the bastards. That's my policy.
Mayor: That was a Shakespeare in the Park production of Julius Caesar, you moron! You killed 5 actors! Good ones!

Still, it strikes me that it's a lot of messing around about supposed weapons that are as expensive as hell, but also completely useless and can't even be fired.... kind of like the average cop.

One key difference between World War II re-enactors and cops: the re-enactors are only pretending to be jackbooted thugs.

Re-enactors Vs Cops, sort of like National Socialists Vs Nationalised Socialists.

The jokes write themselves, but the key points are this: a car as a public place? Does that mean the council will someone round to clean it for you then?

Plus, what's with the police's position? The gun that's no longer actually a gun was so dangerous it had to be destroyed, but only after this guy refused to be bullied into accepting a caution on a bogus charge. In other words, the gun TNLAAG was never a threat in the first place, the filth wanted to destroy historical artifacts purely as an act of petty spite and vengance. Like Julie says, at this point what exactly is the difference between these guys and private-sector gangs?

Cutting their budget isn't enough: they deserve an ASBO.

The Left Own It

Now that Fabio Capello has reacted to the FA trying to dictate management decisions to him by resigning, I'm beginning to think that maybe the critics were right and he never really understood our crazy Inglish ways. Surely every one knows that the tradition is to suck it up and keep collecting the cheques right until the inevitable implosion, then wait 12 months and write a book explaining how everything would have gone great if it wasn't for those meddling kids?

Capello was placed in an untenable situation where he was given a big job to do then hobbled by backseat drivers determined to score an admiring profile in the Guardian, so he bailed out and told the PC clowns the equivalent of 'you broke it, you bought it'.

Why don't more people do this? He was smart enough to realise a bunch of scum weasels wanted to exploit our national team to score PC points then try and offload the inevitable consequences on him as the guy at the sharp end.

Hey, no wonder The Dave has come out against him: that's practically the perfect summation of his MO. Check what happens to welfare reform. Or education. Or health. Or.....

Of course, this is further proof of what I keep saying: no, The Dave is not a political genius. If Harry R wins the Euros then nobody will remember The Dave's role, but if it ditching the manager and the captain four months before a major tournament doesn't work out so well, Dave's new friends on the left may just mention it once or twice...

Outrage D'Jour (Now With Spiffy Working Link)

There always room for ice cream, and there's always money for a
PC Witch hunt.

Victimhood Thunderdome

Two victim groups enter, one group leaves.

Personally, I'm thinking of starting a sweepstake on what happens first: dawn raids in Brighton or the BBC admitting that incidents like this may shed some light on why Christians might just be a little hostile to handing over their Churches to you-know-who for their little ceremonies.

Reminder: The Dave Can Screw Up Anything

This India thing: how incompetent do you have to be not to be able to give money away?

And that's not the best of it.

Sources in Delhi suggested British officials begged India to accept the aid. One commented: 'They said British ministers had spent political capital justifying the aid to their electorate.

Yes, indeed: we're all in this together and got to tighten our belts, but we need to fight hard to give away £280 million to people who don't want it otherwise The Dave will look more of a fool than usual.

It's like they read about Marie Antoinette and thought 'You ain't seen nothing yet'!

The Tories' Joe Kennedy Moment

Joe Kennedy always claimed he'd avoided the crash of 1929 by getting out of the market as soon as he noticed that even shoe shine boys were talking about hot shares. His logic was that as soon as everyone started piling into the market, shares prices would cease to reflect real underlying values and instead they'd bubble up right until the inevitable correction.

In the same spirit, I think I see the beginning of the end for the Dave Bubble, right here.

The BBC's Baby Seals

What are the odds, huh? In all the diverse workforce employed by the World's Greatest Broadcaster, there apparently wasn't a single person to point out that these guys may not the best choice as victims of the dreaded Toricutz.

Empty Suit Makes Empty Gesture

Inspired by The Dave's trip into the belly of the beast to ask all forty-something nations involved in the European Court of Human Rights racket to agree with his plan to make it less awful, I'm going on a trip to Scunthorpe to demand someone gives me a solid gold Ferrari full of diamonds.

Some might say my plan is a barely coherent fanatsy, but if it doesn't work I'll quit and go home, which at least makes more sense than The Dave's threat that if he doesn't get his way, he will ask them again.

About That Political Genius Thing...

IDS launches the long-overdue drive for a benefit cap and the Maximum Leader is nowhere to be seen. What are the odds, huh?

Call me cynical, but I can't help thinking that this policy was meant as a piece of red meat to be thrown to the idiots (i.e. actual conservatives) before being reluctantly abandoned after 48 hours but, shockingly, it turns out that there really is a huge chunk of the public who object to paying taxes to give people more in welfare than they earn themselves.

They'll be saying the Mail outsells the Guardian next.

See, that's the penalty of basing your policy platform on appealing to a tiny slither of North London. You really do start to think that an income equivalent to £34K gross is the equivalent of Dickensian poverty.

Meanwhile, that creaking sound is one of the central pillars of the left's platform collapsing into dust. They've spent years telling everyone that the Tories are heartless. Now they've got to explain that by 'heartless' they mean 'opposed to taxing people with jobs so they can give some other people more for watching TV than most of the country earns working full time'. Virtually single-handedly IDS has exposed the bogus nature of the poverty industry.

Mind you, Daveism isn't looking much better. The whole essence of Cameroonacy was the idea of going along to get along. Nasty old ideology was thrown overboard, in favour of squelchy, right of left of right of centre consensus. Now IDS have gone ahead with some red meat conservatism and the left has had to hide behind a bunch of unelected men in frocks (who incidentally pay some of their employees far less than £34K).

On the plus side, I guess the left will have to put a hold on its ranting about faith schools for a month or so.

As ever though, when the subject of the Greatest Political Genius In History is raised, you have to ask: what definition of 'genius' are we using here?

Fort Apache: Salford

Now is this not the perfect metaphor for modern liberalism ? Britain's state broadcaster shifts some facilities from one part of Britain to another part of Britain, but let's not go crazy and expect them to start rubbing shoulders with the locals.

Hey, some of these people have never even heard of hummus.

Personally, I could almost live with the BBC making like Stanley Baker in Zulu, if only we didn't have to listen to their endless jibber jabber about diversity. Their staff roster looks like the United Colours of Liberalism, but they'd rather drink the local water than risk hiring someone who may once have gone to see a non-Premiership football match.

The Rich Aren't Enriched

Who'd have thunk it? The Celebutrash have abandoned our nation's vibrant capital for the boringly monochorme countryside. What can it all mean?

If Ed Miliband Was Smart....

... he wouldn't be a liberal, would he?

Nevertheless, ignoring that fundamental rule of the universe, if Miliband was smart, then he'd realise he has a tailor-made opportunity to 'detoxify his brand' - as Satan's Representative in No 10 would no doubt put it - simply by throwing scum like this under the bus.

Nothing sums up the demented nature of the modern left better than a soi-dissant socialist party that supports taxing janitors in Leeds to give money to millionaire luvvies in London, so they can make films about how folk in Yorkshire are ignorant bigots.

Mixed Messages?

...Or just proof the rules are different for the High Priests of the Media.

The Mail supports restrictions on free speech when it comes to you-know-what, but issues pious proclamations about the vital importance of the press being free to slime a dead guy.

Elves!

Because it's still funny.

Liberals: Still Scum

I'm thinking this case is the perfect microcosm of the difference between left and right.

Yes, indeed, HSBC were their usual sleazy selves, and it's disgraceful that their senior management have managed to avoid disbarment for conduct that would have got a small town IFA strung up, but at least they've faced some consequences.

Meanwhile, the supposed charidees wot exist to help the helpless? Ah yes: they traded on their (undeservedly) good reputations to lead the marks into the lion's den, and they've got away with the cash, their reputations intact and in all probability a press release ready to go asking for the government to give them a grant to help protect their clients from predatory capitalist pig dogs.

Victim of No Appearance

Further proof for my theory that, just like the Ultimate Question & Answer in the Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy, you can either know the felon's background or the victim's, but never the two at once.

Yep, two Afghanis - probably Mormons - stalk the streets and rape a 'woman'.

Really? Any particular type of woman? Anything in particular driving this choice of victim? Considering she was pulled off the street, there can only be a limited number of things that could have driven them to target this particular victim. It's not like they were driven by an irrational hatred of left-handed dental technicians.

Hey, in so far as this was a premeditated rape of an Infidel woman by Islamosavages, exactly as demanded by the Koran, this is a textbook case of a hate crime. This is what 'hate crime' means: the use of violence to intimidate members of the target demographic.

Needless to say, m'learned friends huffed and they puffed, but then they carefully steered round the elephant in the room on their way to Jokesentanceville:

Jailat Khan, of Beeston, Leeds, was ordered to be detained for five years and Shahzada Khan, of Leeds, was ordered to be detained for four years after both admitted kidnap and rape.

Sentencing the pair on Tuesday, Judge Christopher Batty said they had targeted a vulnerable woman alone in the city centre and the effect on her was 'immeasurable'.

Phew! Just think if it hadn't affected her so badly, he might have let them off with a light sentence. As it is, it now appears you can take part in a brutal rape and get exactly the same sentence Jeffrey Archer got for perjury.

Meanwhile, the femiloons have all gone quiet. Well, duh! They can sneer all they want at the Fifties, but compared to their craven toeing of the leftist line, the Stepford Wives look like Madonna.

Quote of the Day

Hey, some of us have been saying this for years:

Dave Cameron always knew he was born to rule. What he never stopped to analyse, unfortunately, is the more important question of why – ie to what useful purpose – he might have been born to rule.

Actually, I think the truth is even worse. It's increasingly obvious that The Dave doesn't even think the 'why' comes in to it. He simply rules by divine right. Hence the tantrums and the thuggery when any of the lower orders question God's representative on Earth. Hence the contempt for public opinion except in the most cynical posing for contrived photo-ops way. Hence the refusal to engage with even the most basic demands of the job - like turning up (five holidays already this year).

I give it two years before he starts selling indulgences.

'Loser' Is The Word

I'm in two minds about the MSM's born-again Davosceptics. It's great that they're finally managing to remove the kool aid IV from their rectum, but some of us ignorant chav scum got there years ago.

Equally, it's all second order stuff. Back in the day Cast Iron Dave's arrogance, paper thin skin and snobbery were all useful clues to how he would ultimately govern, but now he is PM, we don't need clues any more, we know exactly how he governs: badly.

Like I keep saying, The Dave's success was based on two myths: firstly, that he was an political genius and secondly, that he was a brilliant manager. Blowing a General Election in the middle of a recession scuppered the first one, and now his total incompetence is managing to kill off the second.

The Dave's whole appeal as a touchy-feely moderate was based on the idea that he could run a Labour government better than the Labour Party, and anyone who suggested that liberalism just doesn't work was clearly some kind of right-wing extremist who had no place in the modern conservative party.

Apparently, no one pointed out to The Dave that running as a technocrat sneering at the stoopid ideologues only works if you're more competent than a drunk five year with ADHD who hasn't slept for three days. As it is, Call Me Dave's whole reign has been like a giant experiment to disprove the old line about even blind pigs finding the odd truffle. At this point, talking about his control freakery, dubious land deals and five holidays a year counts as letting him off the hook. It's utter failure that's the outstanding feature of his time in office.

I think we can take a lesson from Ace of Spades blog, and it's running gag of referring to the Obamamessiah as SCoaMF - as in Stuttering Clusterfuck of a Miserable Failure. The Dave don't stutter, but he's more than made up for it with the rest of it, so why pretend he's anything other than a loser?

What James Murdoch Should Tell The Select Committee

I knew exactly as much about phone hacking as Theresa May knew about abandoning border controls, or John Prescott knew about blowing half a billion on a failed reorganisation of the Fire Service.

Theresa May, Or Possibly May Not

Who can tell, huh? It's always the little things that trip you up, like the defence of the realm.

Now Theresa is busy deploying the Reverse Nuremberg defence: whatever happened, they weren't following orders, plus the dog ate her briefing documents and she didn't know nuffink, guv.

It does raise an interesting philosophical question: which possibility is worse? Theresa May is too thick to work out that border security is important, or she just decided that there were higher priorities than stopping the Mad Bomber coming in?

Whatever the specifics though, this case has exposed the fault line in Cameronism. The Dave's whole selling point was that he wasn't some nasty old right-wing extremist, he was a cool, middle of the road unifier - once he'd finished purging all the conservatives out of his party anyway. In reality, Cameron's supposed reasonableness boiled down to the Tories taking all the face card jobs in Whitehall (oops - guess the coalition thing scuppered that) but leaving Labour appointees in place to get on with the job.

Whatever May did or did not do, in so far as it was a central part of Cameron's strategy not to clear out activist civil servants, he bears ultimate responsibility for the fact that liberals are free to continue to push liberal policies, even after Cameron's Cronies all got their keys to the Executive Washroom.

This Is Why We Can't Have A Referendum On The EU

The Government doesn't want the distraction when it's dealing with the really important stuff....

Vince Avoiding Tax

Is it just me or has anyone else noticed that the only time politicians aren't telling the rest of us how to run our lives is when they're busy denying all responsibility for anything in their own lives?

Ann Got There First

This isn't much of a mystery. To paraphrase Ann Coulter, the only difference between people like Cameron and actual liberals is that The Dave wants the right to beat his servants.

As much as current employment laws offers opportunities for shakedowns'n'slacking, they're nothing compared to the discrimination industry, but don't hold your breath for Dave to take on Victims R Us.

Ditto, with sword, oak leaves and gold cluster, the public sector unions.

It's not about improving competitiveness, it's about screwing down the working man some more. As usual with the Nu Tory Revolution, the ordinary Joe will get the shaft, while the race hustlers, femiloons and other associated bums will keep coining it in.

Wizard of Oz Calls for Three-Line Whip On Motion To Look Behind Curtain

Include me out of all that deep thinking about why Cameron called a three-line whip over the referendum vote. I can't help thinking there's less to it than meets the eye.

Cast Iron Dave rose with the help of two myths, one that he was a brilliant political operator, and two that he was the Smartest Guy in the Room. In reality, he blew an election against a gibbering loon in the depths of recession, while his term in office has been such a chaotic train wreck of U-turns, bungling and sleazy compromises that he makes John Major look like Churchill.

All that Cameron has left is an essentially tautological argument: he's the leader becuase he's the leader. He has no choice but to devote all his time to bullying everyone outside the bunker - with his record, it's all he has left.

Liberalism: Multiple Fraud Disorder

Don't be shocked, but one of the most famous cases in psychology turns out to be a really huge fraud.

It's all very disappointing though. Alex Haley had just claimed to have tracked down one of the personalities to her home village.

Meanwhile, some of us are still wondering about people who claim to be Certified Super Genii, but keep falling for obvious frauds. Still, claiming a young girl has sixteen people living in her head is still less goofy than claiming dangerous felons can be rehabilitated by six months of group therapy twice a week, and at least 'Sybil' didn't take an axe to anyone's head.

Special Ed: Conservative Hero

Wait..... did I sleep through Conference Season?

No, it just seemed that way. It says something about the pointless of the modern party conference that the closest we got to an actual conservative point during the whole nightmare came from Ed Milliband.

Personally, I liked Special Ed's idea to divide businesses into 'good' and 'bad' categories with different laws and tax rates for each. It's like a liberal version of the Flat Tax, a way to sweep away bureaucratic complexity in favour of a more streamlined system. True, you could say it's a little arbitrary and open to corruption, but not noticeably more so than what we have now, and at least we won't have the pretence that it's anything other than the raw exercise of government power.

All that's without considering the other upside. In so far as the leader of Britain's main party of the left has called for the state to abandon the whole 'equal under law' thing in favour of the legal equivalent of a blank cheque, with nary a dissenting voice on the left, Special Ed has exposed the true nature of the left's civil liberties frauds. What could be more injurious to liberty than the state claiming an open-ended right to arbitrarily victimise any business it pleases? Don't ask Shami and pals though - they're too busy investigating allegations that a terrorist was given lukewarm milk on his coco-pops.