Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Extreme Extremists (Non-UKIP Edition)

Last Thursday was not only the high point of the legacy parties' whining about the supposed extremism of UKIP, it was also the first anniversary of this.

If David Cameron had devoted half as much energy to denouncing those guys as he did to calling UKIPers fascists, there probably wouldn't have been a UKIP surge to get all foot stampey about in the first place.

Tuesday, May 20, 2014


With the polls due to open in a few hours, it looks like being a straight up UKIP vs FSA fight. That's FSA as in the 'Free...Stuff Army'.

Yeah, 'Stuff', that's it.

Despite the heroic efforts of White Dee and the rest of Benefits Street, they're no match for the professionals. Literally professionals, as in all the living dead making a comfortable middle class living off of jobs with titles like Eco Justice Gay Cycling Coordinator. Lump together the salary, gold plated pension and other benefits and it's no wonder they've put aside their petty differences - and principles - to come together and defend their fundamental human right to keep their hands in the public's pocket.

Consider their twin kings aka the Two Chrises. On the right, sort of, there's Chris Patton, last elected in 1987 (and de-elected in 1992), but you can't keep a bad man down and so he's been binging at the trough ever since. From the People's Party, there's Chris Smith, Islington-based theatre aficionado and so therefore the obvious choice to run the Environment Agency.

Tory Chris's stint with the BBC's Board of Governance will best be remembered for the complete collapse of anything resembling actual governance, even to the point of people leaving with massive payoffs and no record of who authorised them. Meanwhile, Labour Chris sunk Somerset. Then again, who cares? The FSA is all about having the right attitudes, actual achievement is purely optional.

Say what you like about The Smartest PM Ever, and I usually do, but at least he understands his target market. Hold up a paper hastag? Sure, why not? Actually, doing stuff would mean taking a position, making moral judgements - you know, crazy UKIP talk. If there's one thing that links Cameron, the FSA and White Dee, it's the certainty that work is for chumps.