Seriously. That's a revelation to our genius set.
On the plus side, no more mean tweets, so there is that.
Still, never mind President Al Z Heimer, what about our political class? Britain has been involved in Afghanistan right from the start but now our foreign policy establishment has been blindsided by the revelation that the Afghan Army was a clown show.
Plenty of ordinary soldiers who actually dealt with these guys worked that out years ago. Meanwhile, lots of guys with gold braid on their shoulders were claiming everything was just super awesome, no problems whatsoever.
Hey, some of us have been warning almost as long as the war's been going about how politicised the Army has become. Either they were spinning the party line, or they're just plain incompetent. Neither answer is particularly reassuring.
Now, after twenty years of total failure trying to sell Afghans on the benefits of western civilisation, the same genius set has decided that the only answer is to let huge numbers of them immigrate to the UK. Spending hundreds of billions on the place couldn't drag them out of the stone age, but a few hours on a plane will be enough to convert them to moderate social democrats, chatting over the garden wall with the nice gay couple at No 28.
Even supposing these people genuinely don't dig the Taliban - and they're not just wanting to move to the land of the magic money tree - that doesn't mean they support secular democracy (to put it mildly). Estimates are that around 85% of them believe homosexuality, adultery or converting to another religion should be capital crimes. Virtually all believe sharia should take precedence over secular laws.
This is a perfect example of the problem inherent in dealing with crazy fanatics.
But enough about the open borders lobby.
We need a vote of thanks too for the MSM, fearlessly speaking truth from power, as ever. We have to bring these people over as they risked their lives working for the British Army. All 20,000 of them. Did every solider get his own personal interpreter or what? Don't expect the MSM to ask.
And that's before the magic of 'family reunion' (aka chain migration) takes effect. 200,000 would be more like it for the final figure.
Ditto, we're apparently not meant to ask what criteria will be used to screen these guys. Given that our political class won't even let us deport convicted killers to the holiday island of Jamaica, I can't see this being a high bar to pass.
Then again, one more thing the MSM won't ask is just what exactly - in the sense of actual specifics - race hustlers like Sadiq Khan disagree with the Taliban about.
The same feckless decadence which inspired our political class to support a dementia patient as president for no better reason than class hatred of Trump (and his base) is now leading them to call for allowing an army of people who hate Britain and everything it stands for to be given an access all areas pass to the UK. How do they expect that to work? Answer: they don't care. They live in a world of privilege where preening and posturing is everything and being concerned for the actual consequences of government policies just marks you out as some loser peasant who lacks their refined sensibilities.
This is why we've spent twenty years, nearly five hundred lives and billions of pounds, and the end result is that the Taliban will end up being more successful in imposing their values on the UK than the other way round.