They Have No Idea Why This Keeps Happening....

Truly, Fat Dave Cameron is the gift that keeps on giving: now World Famous Moderate Muslim Sayeeda Warsi is pushing the crazed Islamist-inspired definition of Islamophobia (speaking personally, I prefer the Christopher Hitchens definition 'a word created by fascists, used by cowards, to manipulate morons.')

Lest we forget, that's Baroness Warsi, after Fat Dave decided the whole 'due diligence' thing was for squares. Still, at least his PC outreach efforts meant he was able to bring onboard rock-ribbed conservatives like Sarah Wollaston and Heidi Allen... say, does anyone know what they're doing these days?

You know, thinking about it, a guy could almost think those mean old bigots had a point. Maybe selecting professional victims and parachuting them into safe seats or the House of Lords isn't such a good idea after all? Not only are they hideously unqualified for the job, it turns out it's not even good politics.

Apart from that it was a brilliant plan!

Before they rewrite history, remember that this whole Diversity Uber Alles - and especially uber competence - thing was cooked up by the Certified Genius Class in London. The bumpkins were the ones who said it was a farce to begin with - and got called bigots for doing so. Now it turns out the hicks were right and the snoots were wrong, but don't ask them for any comment on this - they're too busy trying to work out why they're losing votes to The Brexit Party.

About That Wasted Vote Thing...

Remember, waste a vote on UKIP and you might end up with a government that appoints leftist culture warriors to key jobs.

At risk of stating the obvious - obvious to anyone except our nation's professional conservatives anyway - this isn't a minor matter. The Press Regulator is in a position to help choke off debate on any topic liberals find unhelpful. Anyone think guys like this are going to be supportive of the paper that breaks news of the next Rotherham?

Expect more reports on the heroism of Comrade Ogilvy.

This is the perfect example of how the excuses for Cameronism rely on completely inverting cause and effect. We're told the culture has drifted leftwards so the Right needs to abandon the culture war and get with the program. The truth is pretty much the opposite. The left understands that in terms of ability to shape the culture, guys like this have far more power than the average backbench MP, but the Smartest People In The Room keep pretending that the right just needs to flip a few more red seats blue and we'll enter a new Golden Age.

Quote Du Jour (Now With Extra Lunacy)

Old, but still true:

The auto-destruction of the Conservative Party began before Dave even won the leadership, when Theresa May announced the “modernising” agenda to the party conference. Addressing a hall full of people who had taken time off work or used up holiday entitlements, the kitten-heeled harridan strutted the stage as she told them that if they harboured all the instincts and principles traditionally regarded as Tory: “There is no room for you in our (sic) party.”

Her assumption that the Conservative Party belonged not to her audience and supporters in the wider community but to the platform party of ministers and their sycophants first exposed the fatal sense of entitlement that has brought the party to the verge of dissolution.

Yep, the Tory face cards all claim to abhor Big Government but they really do think the man in the street is a knuckle-dragging moron who needs to be watched like a hawk. Strangely however, it always turns out to be members of Cast Iron Dave's Nu Elite who get caught coming out with deranged anti-Semitic conspiracy theories.

Conspiracy Nuts FTW!

Who'd have thunk it? A former 'impartial civil servant' turns out to be a pal of Red Ed and a wannabe member of the Labour Parachute Club, looking forward to representing the people of [fill in the blank].

Actually, just about everyone could have predicted it. This was the guy who sat on the investigations into jihadist grooming gangs but flooded the zone for phone hacking. Just about the only people trying to deny the existence of the Big Red Elephant in the room where the Certified Super Genii at Tory HQ.

These are the guys that assured us that Komrade Keir and the rest were jus' folks, good honest hard working public servants and anyone who said otherwise was some crazed 1980s throwback jibbering about the something called the 'culture war'.

Now we know the truth. Yes, Cast Iron Dave did leave an off the scale lefty in charge of prosecutions even as the Great British Public rejected everything Starmer stands for. The Right was right, and the only 'bumpkins' were all the soi dissant sophisticates who believed the Nu Tory Party was about anything other than ideological surrender.

Reality Still Has The Casting Vote

Bad as events are in Somerset, at least it's not happening in Bengal or Sligo in the 19th Century. If it had, lefties would still be writing books, plays and operas about the eviiiillll English Lord who let people's houses get flooded just so he could make the place nice for the birdies.

They should have told Lord Smith that the birds voted conservative. He'd have been hunting them down himself with a shotgun.

As it is the main question is what will happen first: the floods going down or the BBC finding a way to call Smith a right-winger. On the plus side, while Somerset is flooded, The Dave's credibility has been sunk too.

We're back to the two foundational myths of Daveism. We're told that he is a brilliant manager and a master politician. Now he's facing a political crisis caused in large part by letting a government agency go bananas, and not just through indolence but also as a matter of policy. The Cameroonatics pride themselves on their post-ideological, post-modern, ironic detachment. People with actrual convictions were dismissed as dullsville bores and accused of 'banging on' about stuff. Why bring everyone down and hash their mellow by arguing over actual policy?

That's how we ended up with a conservative PM happy to preside over a government agency headed by an Islington liberal and staffed entirely by ecoloons (but at least we've found one context where liberals think diversity is overrated). 

It turns out that ideas still matter, after all. Culture War matters. Allowing econuts to take over a government agency turns out to have been a disaster. Lives have been lost and homes wrecked as a result of allowing Metropolitan liberals to use a large part of England as a giant econut version of Sim City. If the Tories don't stand against that, in what sense are they conservative?

Just In Case You Ever Though PC Was Class War By Other Means...

How very dare a mere serf not treat the death of the Greatest Man Ever with the correct degree of respect!

Clearly they need a lesson in decorum from their betters!

I guess we'll have to file this under 'If Nigel Farage Had Done This...'

Who Could Have Seen This Coming?

Well, apart from absolutely everyone.

Yes, indeed: it turns out that the law which was drafted to prevent this happening turns out not to prevent this happening. Or, to put it another way, us conspiracy nuts were right and the Nu Tory Party's fanboys in the MSM were either lying or insanely gullible.

Like I keep saying, every statement by David Cameron comes with a sell by date. This law was totes not going to impose on religious freedom, but that was then, and this is now, so no doubt we all need to 'move on'. 

I Love It When A Plan Comes Together

Yeah, yeah, all true: it is kind of sleazy the way the Usual Suspects are anxious to blame it all on 'The Government' without telling us which government, but how much sympathy can you have with The Dave?

Not only did The World's Smartest Man leave these people in place, but he actually made that one of his key selling points. The Dave explicitly marketed himself as a post-ideological PM, throwing those suburban squares with all their talk of 'culture war' under the bus, in favour of canapés with fellow members of the political class like the CQC.

Now it turns out that liberal political hacks used their positions to try and push the left's narrative even to point of putting innocent lives at risk and the Dear Leader claims to be shocked - shocked - to find you can't trust lefty fanatics. But he still can't bring himself to denounce them with half the passion he uses to condem anyone who might vote UKIP.

It's A Party That *Looks* Like Britain, You're Not Meant To Actually Do Stuff

This is too perfect: the Hitler Spotter In Chief is caught up in a race row.

Mind you, I don't think the guy in question is the sharpest tool in the box:

Shaun Bailey has been moved to a 'non-position' in the Cabinet Office after losing his job as the Prime Minister's special adviser for youth and crime before a number of former public school pupils were appointed, it has been reported.

Ehhh.... I don't think he's moved to a non-job. What's his problem anyway? He's complaining about spending his days on trivial nonsense with no chance of actually achieving anything?

 Hey, if it's good enough for The Dave....

It gets better:

Tory MP Therese Coffey revealed she was encouraging the Prime Minister to undergo so-called ‘unconscious bias’ training in a bid to help make both the Government and the Conservative Party more diverse.

Orwell was too optimistic: now we have an alleged conservative arguing that even if you haven't committed any Thought Crimes, that just means you're unconsciously committing Thought Crime.

Hey, that sounds strangely familiar. Oh yeah, here it is:

Door Gunner: Git some! Git some! Git some, yeah, yeah, yeah! Anyone who runs, is a VC. Anyone who stands still, is a well-disciplined VC!

If only there was training for 'unconscious liberalism'?

Important Public Service Announcement

Remember: UKIP are a collection of shaved chimpanzees, not even worth bothering with. 

Hell, don't even know why I mentioned them.

Hey, if they were any good, they'd be able to come up with super brilliant strategies like attacking the party that represents people left on the kerb by the political classes with the line that they're a bunch of squaresville bumpkins who probably live in 'semis' and send their kids to state schools.

As it it, I'm thinking this may just be the point where the Tory offensive turned from farce to actual insanity.

Mind you, you'd think the Tories would know enough to avoid bringing up the subject of self-proclaimed Messiahs who led their countries to disaster, all the while ranting about how they had been betrayed by their peoples. But no: hence the inevitable (complete with 'Little Britain' reference!).

Thatcher Dead, Still Beating Cameron

Don't be shocked, but it turns out that the women behind the Thatcher Death Parties was not a self-employed accountant from Harrogate:

The woman behind an internet campaign to organise street parties to “celebrate” the death of Baroness Thatcher has been identified as a Romany Blythe, a 45-year-old community drama teacher from south London...

She specialises in “facilitating workshops for young, excluded and potentially criminalised individuals and uses drama techniques she has developed to explore resolution of conflict and oppression”, according to the company’s website.

It's only April, but I think we already have a real contender for this year's Prescott Award for Self-Caricature.

In related news, what about those 'savage cuts', huh?

Which is kind of the point. Thatcher was 'divisive' but I'm betting the government that pays morons for nonsense is still also 'divisive'. So much for Cast Iron Dave's dash for the middle ground.

Lady Thatcher understood that no conservative government worthy of the name could ever hope to appease these tools. Meanwhile, the Certified Super Genii that make up our nation's professional conservatives really believed that if they threw the bumpkins and the white trash under the bus, then nut bunnies like Blythe would sign up for the post-modern, post-ideological future where everything is up for grabs and principles are for squares.

Thatcher was right, Dave's wrong and the left is still crazy.

Compare & Contrast: New Dave Order Edition

Mentioning that the National Socialist German Workers Party was, in fact, just a little socialist? Fired!

Praising a terrorist? Carry on!
 

Of course there are differences. One of them was talking about a mad man who ranted about how God commanded him to crush the aliens polluting his sacred land, while the other was talking about Hitler.

Still, the comparison is compelling. As ever though we should not let the obvious foulness of the Cameroonian position blind us to the more profound foulness of it all. When exactly did conservatives start talking fondly of 'conviction politicians'? When did that get to be a good thing?

The whole point about conservatism is scepticism about government in general and politicians with big ideas in particular. When actual conservatives cite the guy ranting about how Ulster Protestants are alien transplants who deserve no rights, they mean it as an example of why politicians can't be trusted.

Chumps Dumped

Like I keep saying, the thing with Cameron is not that he's reliably disgusting, it's that he manages to find new ways to be appalling every time. Too busy to sign letters?

Really?
 
Mind you, these guys are idiots too. As if His Magnificence Sultan David I would ever really be interested in advice from people in 'trade'. They were just the political equivalent of groupies and they got treated like groupies. If these alleged top business brains can't work that out for themselves, that probably explains more about why British business is screwed than anything to do with the exchange rate or inflation.

Lest We Forget....

While even Special Ed Milliband is running for cover from the Rotherham fiasco - although not to the extent of expelling anyone from his allegedly moderate, middle of the road party - it's worth winding the tape back and hearing what Cast Iron Dave's Nu Tory Party used to say about these people:

Social workers are too often vilified for creating problems rather than given due credit for the work they do with the vulnerable, a senior Conservative politician said today.

Tim Loughton, the shadow children's minister, told the National Children's Services Commissioning Conference in London that social workers are caricatured as a result of general ignorance about what they actually do.

Loughton, who also chairs the Conservatives' commission on social work, attacked what he described as the "deeply corrosive situation where too many social workers are seen as part of the problem rather than an integral part of the solution".

Good call, Timmy! Yes, indeed, another one of Cast Iron Dave's Certified Super Genius Squad gives the bumpkins a finger-wagging lecture about how they just don't get it, and then it all goes horribly wrong. It's almost like there's a pattern here.

There's a chicken and egg aspect to all this too. As Britain's sexiest blogger said at the time, Loughton's despicable position was a renunciation of the principles of both conservationism and democratic governance. No wonder liberal fanatics feel free to use innocent children as pawns.

The case in Rotherham is the perfect barometer of the utter failure of Nu Tory Cringe Conservatism to achieve much of anything. They came, they saw, they hung around for a bit.

It's The MIA-List

So farewell then, Louise Mensch, you were... kind of rubbish, actually.

But who'd have thunk that a whiny, professional victim parachuted into a provincial constituency would bail just as soon as she was expected to do some actual work?

Apparently, it may not have been have been just bigotry that explains why Louise and pals needed The Dave to foist them on the bumpkins. The average member of a constituency selection panel might not be on the guest list at anywhere hip, but they can spot a Wrong 'Un - they do better than the World's Smartest Man can, anyway.

All of which does kind of hint at just why the Tories are doing so badly. The A-List meant constituency parties, people who knew the local area and had years of experience in politics, were swept aside in favour of insular Metropolitan luvvies with impeccable media connections.

It's the perfect embodiment of Cameronism, combining both his narcissism - superficial nods to diversity to the contrary, these folks were virtually all from the same social circles as The Dave - and his superficial view of what government requires. These guys certainly looked and sounded just like MPs yet, unaccountably, it turns out that posturing hipsters are no good at waging the trench warfare required to actually get stuff done.

Socialism: The Hate That Dare Not Speak Its Name

Liberals are enragedly enraged! that some folks on the right aren't thrilled about an Olympic opening ceremony worthy of Team America's Kim Jong Il.

Why you got be such a square-oh!

Hmmm... let's wind the tape back a month or so.

Ah yes.

Back then, not being swept up in a national celebration, even as meticulously an unpolitical one as the Jubilee, was a perfectly valid position to take. It's only now that the left has decided that the true meaning of Britishness is mindless obedience to authority.

All of which neatly brings me on to His Magnificence Sultan Dave. We're supposed to be shocked that he's set the dogs on an MP that's come out against the left's hijacking of the Olympics ceremony. And?

It's the perfect summation of what two years of Cameronism has wrought. Which is to say nothing. They 'cut too far, and too fast' except socialist weasels like Danny Boyle are still using public money to celebrate their hatred of this country. In so far as the opening ceremony was a clunkingly obvious celebration of collectivism, the only real winner of the whole farce is Nigel Farage.

Government Faces Up To The Kebab Menace

As far as this goes, three things come to mind:

i/ I'll believe it when I see it

ii/Does he mean 'closed' in the traditional sense of 'not open' or in the modern sense of 'wide open providing you keep lodging super, special, emergency appeals against deportation for the next fifty years'?

iii/ Greece? Really? This is what's finally convinced him of the need for border security? There's not much to say about Athens, but it sure beats Mogadishu.

Mind you, sleazy and self-serving though the Nu Tories may be, when it comes to stupid, you can't beat the left:

Denis MacShane, the former Labour Europe minister, was among those who criticised Mrs May when the suggestion of border controls was first raised...

“And of course, if we ban every Greek from coming into Britain, the Greeks will ban every Brit from going into Greece – that's a great start to the holiday season

... although in fairness to McShameless, it's probably difficult to distinguish between welfare tourists and the real thing when you can't even tell the diffference between an office and a garage.

Animal Farm: It's Meant To Be A Warning, Not An Inspiration

I've been trying to think of something suitably snarky to say about Professional Yorkshireman William 'Squealer' Hague's warning that if we don't shape up, the government's going to fire us and elect a new public.

Actually, that might not be so far off the mark, given their support for open borders.

Still, leaving that aside, how can you mock these people when they do such a good job of it themselves?

I mean, there's this and then there's this..... oh, and this.

Mind you, at least this has a certain Pythonesque charm. They probably wanted to discuss defence policy too, but the rowing machine was broke.

All of which is by way of returning to the point I keep making: Cameron is a really huge fraud. We kept being told that, sure, he might be an ideological lightweight, but he's a political genius and a natural leader of men. Now it turns out that his Big Idea is berating the galley slaves for not rowing fast enough. Really? How long did it take him to come up with that one?

His government will suck up 50p in every pound, but the state of the country's nowt to do with him, so hand over your wallet then get back to work, you slackers.

The Supreme Leader Is Dead!

I can't be the only one whose noticed a change in tone in the communiques from the bunker these last couple of weeks. His Magnificance Sultan David I has been replaced by Downtrodden Dave, the poor guy who just can't get a break.

Here's an early example.

Yep, Dave would've gotten away it if it wasn't for those meddling conservatives.

Actually, the whole thing is virtually self-refuting. How else to describe a lecture on electability from a Cameroon? And that's without mentioning that the Tea Party folks actually won their elections.

Confirmed: Supporting The Dave Causes Insanity

Really: the cognitive dissonance on show here is a sight to behold.

To be fair though, full credit to QL for grasping something that passes most Professional Conservatives by: the left uses these quangos to push through stuff they would never dare bring up where the public would have a chance to vote against it. The only problem is that saying all that just rams home the contrast between a bunch of liberal wackadoodles using taxpayers' money to help wreck the country, and a supposed Conservative Party that's looking very strongly at moving towards putting in place mechanisms to consider the possible implementation of policies to potentially restrict the ability of said wackadoodles to give a shedload of cash to the Mohammed Siddiq Khan Memorial Scholarship Fund.