Sunday, January 11, 2004

Beards: Are They For You ?

So anyway, this guy lists ways to tell if you're a Liberal (via this guy), so I thought why do anything original when you can steal someone else's idea ? So here it is: 15 ways to tell if you really need to shell out on razors.

You know you're a Liberal if:

  1. You don't think people can be trusted with guns, unless they're in the IRA

  2. You believe soldiers in combat, doctors in A & E depts and householders defending themselves at 3.15AM should all be subject to legal action after the fact, but Judges should never be criticised because their job is too complex for ordinary citizens to understand

  3. You think it's racist to point out the shortage of Arab democracies, but calling Americans obese, gun-crazed morons is cutting-edge political comment

  4. You think giving kids a good education requires that they be taught about felching, rimming and golden showers, but religion has no place in schools

  5. You think GM crops are dangerous, but crack isn't

  6. You think mobile phones melt brain tissue, but paedophiles are an invention of the media

  7. You believe we should be constantly alert to the risk of neo-nazi conspiracies arising to take over the world, but there's no such thing as Islamofascism

  8. You think factory owners are bloated, capitalist pigs, but lawyers are altruistic guardians of the public

  9. You complain loudly that Big Business is pumping chemicals into the environment just to boost profits, while you're snorting a line of coke.

  10. You complain that Dubya was selected not elected, but Lord Chief Justice Woolf and his fellow travellers legislating from the bench is democracy in action

  11. You complain about Islamophobia in the media, but you don't mind that whenever you see a Priest in a TV drama you know he'll turn out to be shagging a parishioner

  12. You define a diverse workplace as one with a diversity of everything except opinions

  13. You really think that a cop who tells an un-PC joke should be fired but a High Court judge in the Family Division who goes on record as hating marriage is entitled to her opinion

  14. You believe every family needs a social worker, but fathers are an optional extra

  15. You think that when a US President opposes a dictator with a pathological hatred of Jews, a record of invading his neighbours and gassing people plus a stupid moustache, then it means that the Yank is just like Hitler

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