Friday, May 12, 2006

Who Can Argue With A Track Record Like That ?

Liberal academics have decided that they can no longer waste their lives sitting in their ivory towers, it's time to make sacrifices for the common good. They've decided to get jobs in the private sector.

Just kidding.

Nope, they've decided to take a brave stand and boycott Israeli insitutions. They claim to be hacked off by events in the territories. Not to put too fine a point on it, but Britain occupies part of Iraq - can they boycott Britain as well ? Just how much land do we need to take till we get a break from these whiny tarts ?

Israeli academics will be able to avoid the boycott providing they publically disassociate themselves from their homeland. The exact procedure for this has not yet been decided on, but it'll definitely involve them burning their nation's flag while eating a hamburger and admitting that Tesco's quality has really gone downhill recently. Originally, it was also planned that they'd have to apologise for the crucifixtion but Liberals admitted that they never liked the guy either.

Some may say that it is needlessly cruel to expect people to denounce their own country, but British academics say it never did them any harm. Also, they deny any anti-Semitic intent, and in fact they'll soon be debating a motion requiring potential students from Muslim countries to disavow terrorism - that debates scheduled for the 31st of June. No, not only are Islamically-inclined students free of any requirement to renounce blowing up the No 32, but the unis themselves refuse to take any responsibility for who and what they're teaching. Why, if the Mad Mullah of Tehran's first born wants to learn all about genetic manipulation of anthrax, well, what could possibly go wrong ?

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