Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Paging Big Gay Al

Say what you like about the Tories Class A list, but at least bringing in a proper process for selecting candidates means they’ll avoid getting caught up in any stupid scandals. Oops. Never mind that our Class A star was having an affair with a senior member of the Parliamentary Party, they say it didn't influence the decision, and if you can’t trust politicans, who can you trust ? Besides, Liz Truss is a former Lib Dem who used to embarrass the leadership by pushing conference motions too far out even for the Treason Party, and you can’t let talent like that go to waste.

Needless to say, Blue Labour will no doubt try and claim that anyone pointing out the ethical implications of this situation is merely a crazed moralist who wants to turn the clock back and herd women back into the closet and chain gays to the kitchen sink. Or something. And never you mind wondering about the likely reaction to an analogues situation at a bank or other serious business. They only want to run the country, not do anything important.

After all, Tory modernisers keep yammering on about their desire to free the Party of anyone who suggests there’s a moral dimension to politics. According to these people, there are millions of Britons out there who would otherwise vote Conservative, but they’re put off by the hostility of some in the Party to teaching five year olds about oral sex. Throw a bucket of water over a Blue Labourite at 3 AM and he’ll jerk awake denouncing the ‘Tory Taliban’. Hey, modernisers, here’s a free clue: if you’re criticising people for overly hostile rhetoric, it’s probably not a good idea to compare them to an insane dictatorship where women were shot for painting their nails.

Nope, it’s a while since the Tories-In-Name-Only have felt under any pressure to actually make any sense. All we’re left with is a bunch of folks who recoil like Dracula facing a crucifix whenever social issues are mentioned. Hence, the Class A list, a specially-selected group of people without any embarrassing political baggage, or indeed any baggage at all. Oops again.

A campaign leaflet issued last year when she stood for Dewsbury, and in which she is seen wearing a Western business suit, focused on mainstream Tory issues including Europe — “Sayeeda Warsi believes in putting Britain first”. In a second leaflet, in which she wears a shalwar kameez, her concerns are homosexuality, which Labour is accused of promoting, and the “illegal” war in Iraq, which she says “may lead to further military action in places such as Syria, Lebanon and Iran”.

Speaking personally, I’m shocked – shocked! – that a ‘moderate Muslim’ could turn out to be an full-on Islamopath once away from Infidel scrutiny. It’s like Christmas in December! It does raise an interesting question though. Here’s one case where the ‘Tory Taliban’ tag would seem to be justified, so where are Alan Duncan and the rest of the hip’n’happening Nu Tories ? Surely their opposition to social conservatism wasn’t just an excuse to purge the party of grass roots Conservatives in favour of Metropolitan elitists ? Perish the thought!


By popular request, well, one request anyway, here's a quick reminder of Lizzie's moment of glory:
The front-runner for Tory candidate in the safe seat of Broxbourne is Elizabeth
Truss, a director at Cable & Wireless. She is the same Elizabeth Truss who
as a Liberal Democrat activist in a debate in 1994 on holding a referendum on
the monarchy, uttered the words: “I agree with Paddy Ashdown when he said that
everyone should have a chance to be somebody, but only one family has the chance
to provide the head of state. I cannot agree with that. We don’t believe people
should be born to rule.”

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