Sunday, June 13, 2004

TINO Trainwreck (What's Not To Like ?)


Here's a question for the modern philosophers: how many elections does a guy have to lose before his acolytes stop praising his electability ? Probably about 57, still we can dream: 'Mr Norris, we've booked you on the Loser Express to Nowheresville, you'll be travelling in the No Class compartment'. I mean, what was that slogan ? 'Death before electability' ? That was how they mocked the views of anyone to the right of Tony Blair. Well, it looks like they forgot the 'electability' part of it.

Let's be clear about this: Nozza lost to a guy whose main claim to fame is introducing a whole new tax, and whose secondary claim to fame is making moonbat comments about Dubya, the US and Western Civilisation in general. On first principles, this should have been a walkover, but there's more to it than that. TINOs hypothesise that the public is repelled by the overtly ideologically driven and those holding controversial views. Ken Livingstone was the perfect candidate to test this theory. In fact, had Livingstone been a Conservative, he would have been the target of the very same jibes about 'Death before electability'. Except now he's been elected again. And Nozza's failed again. And done so against the background of an increased Conservative vote in the London Assembly. Oops. Apparently, TINOs have a whole different definition of electability.

The irony is that the self-same day that Nozza latest fiasco was announced, their number one hate figure was showing exactly what real Conservatism was all about. TINOs often disparage Conservatives for being backward-looking, miserable and dull. Well, an elderly woman giving the eulogy at the funeral of an old man should be a textbook example of that, yet Lady T's eulogy for President Reagan was quite the opposite. It had the vibrancy and impact that only happens when someone is speaking great truths from the heart: good and evil are real concepts, we are not the victims of unseen forces, we can make a difference…. You've probably read it anyway, but here's the point: everything TINOs claim for themselves was in that speech - it had vision, generosity of character and a real belief in the possibilities of the future. The TINOs ? Try reading any of Nozza's speeches and working out what he believes. The phone book is more inspiring. Lady Thatcher was the very epitome of everything TINOs despise, yet she won three elections. In the cause of electability, the TINOs have held a fire sale of every principle and run from ideology like a vampire faced with a crucifix, yet that pesky electorate keep not electing them. Of course, the L3 media is quite happy to pay tribute to their electoral appeal - there are few better signs of an alleged Conservatives mediocrity than the respect of the media. But every time Joe Public gets a chance to vote, the TINOs get a slap.

Far be it from me to advise the TINOs, but hey - TINOs in general and Nozza in particular keep speaking out about the need for the Conservative Party to purge itself of electoral liabilities. Given that Fat Boy has now lost two on the bounce to a complete moonbat, isn't it time Nozza gobbled up a nice portion of sauce for the goose ?

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