Thursday, March 04, 2004

Modernise This!

Here I am, metaphorically mining Mt Outrage, having my bile duct transplanted to my mouth, taking the poison pen letter into the twenty-first century and do I get decent hatemail ? Nada. To add insult to injury, the only time someone launches a decent screed at me, it's about stuff I didn't say. What's wrong with you people ? If you can't find something offensive here, where the Hell can you ? Is this some kind of Lefty thing, an inner need to make stuff up even when the truth is far nastier ?

What's brought all this on is this: I'm the subject of a whiny screed by TINO Tony about …. Well, what is the only subject TINOs ever talk about ? Revolutionising the Conservative Party ? Hey, try revolutionising your philosophy to cover something other than Gay Rights first. I mean, I've got the strangest feeling that two electoral wipe-outs in succession reflect something other than just public discontent with Conservative views on legalising gay sex in public toilets. But no, you can't tell them, and if you do you get this:

If it's simply the case that DumbJon reckons that the Tory party should not select poofs, queens, nancy boys, dykes, shit-drivers, tuppence-lickers, tugboats, frigid lezzers, friends of Dorothy and others of that ilk as candidates on principle he should just say so and not dress it up as outrage against an alleged system of identity politics gone berserk.

So, who's being the weasel here ? TINO rolls out the Mark 1 Mod 0 caricature of a Social Conservative then tries to argue that the fact I (or indeed anyone else) doesn't fit this stupid caricature means that we're hypocrites. This is just an updated version of 'Have you stopped bearing your wife yet ?'. It's worth at this point mentioning what brought on this hissy fit - my scepticism about James, the famous lesbian Tory. TINO points out that James, a lesbian, can't be making a career as a professional lesbian because she said she didn't want to talk about it. Ahem - people who don't want to talk about things, don't talk about them. James(lesbian), on the other hand, talked at great length about her sexuality, and equally importantly, about nothing else. As an aspiring politician, far less a MILLIONAIRE PR GURU, James, famous right-wing lesbian, knows how to spin a story. If she was depicted as the Tory's token lesbian, there is no doubt that that is what she wished to be. Supposed attempts to deflect this line of questioning sound just like plausible deniability to me. What the Hell else did she think the press was going to write about ?

As a public service I would now like to point out how candidates who really don't want to talk about it can avoid this kind of press coverage:

Fantasy Press Conference:

Reporter: Are you gay ?

Candidate: Yes

Let's see them get 500 words out of that. Or how about a deflection ?

Reporter: Are you gay ?

Candidate: Yes, but I still have to pay £2000 a year more under Labour than the Conservatives….

Or how about… well, you get the point. There's no reason why anyone skilled enough to survive in politics should allow themselves to get pinned down talking about their personal life unless that's all they've got

That's the thing, of course. Behind the hysterical shrieking from TINO, there is a whole bunch of…… nada. TINO shrieks and sneers at those who question the lesbian James's God-given right to a seat in the House but he's running on empty when it comes to saying anything positive about James, who is a lesbian. What exactly did she do to impress him that much ? Even TINO can't be that impressed with a candidate who rode upon a tidal wave of publicity without mentioning policy once. She's not a token says TINO - but he never gets round to telling us what she is. What are her qualifications ? What does she believe ? Where does she stand on school vouchers ? Hey, she's lesbian, but she doesn't like to talk about it.

But what does she like to talk about ?

So, who are the hatemongers here ? TINO tries to libel me as a knuckle-dragging ape but that's just par for the course for the modernisers. These people have never hidden their belief that those of us who don't think of traditional morality as some kind of amusing holdover, like hand pumps on the village green, are barely human. We’re animals, see ? Not part of the beautiful future that will come about when people unlearn everything 4000 years of civilisation tells us about how societies run and just go for it. These people sure can hate well, but - sans Gay Rights - what is the point ? Why do they bother ?

That's the thing here. James is actually the perfect pin-up girl for the modernisers. Just like them, she's looking to build a reputation based on supposed radicalism without actually stating anything of any lasting value whatsoever. She's perfect, a candidate who doesn't like to talk about the only thing she talks about for a faction whose only central ideal is hatred of those people who have actual ideals.

I have seen the future and it is nothing at all.

No comments: