Sunday, March 07, 2004

Double Or Quits

If I seem like I'm hostile to the alleged modernisers that's purely because I am. Take this post by Free Democrat. Speaking personally, I dislike dear ol' Jacob already. No one has the right to a seat, but still, FD seems to be demonstrating that most original of moderniser original sins: having his Gateaux and eating it. FD sez diversity is a Good Thing, but not in the sense that the Party should pursue it. As I keep saying when writing about science: you can't claim to be a disinterested observer while stating that only a Nazi would choose Option B. What's more FD cites the imbalance between girlies and boys on the Tory benches. Hey, FD, the truth is even worse - look at the imbalance between lad & lasses in the vital UK political blog sector. Seems to me that La Femme ain't really into discussing farm subsidies (which is hardly a criticism of them). So, FD wants to correct the imbalance despite apparent evidence that it arises quite naturally - which surely then means some form of action is required to produce a 50/50 split.

Still, 'tis a mere apperitif for what's coming next. In the comments to that post Plastic 'don’t call me TINO' Gangster goes dumpster diving behind the Dept of Washed Up Socialist Cliches. TINO sneers that Jacob Brat is merely 'something in the City', opining that some of the people there are 'dozy as a whelk, albeit a whelk with the right surname'. Yep, that's the City: 11 AM start, cocktail hour 1-3, home by 4. There may have been a time when the City was dominated by well-connected dullards but, like much else, it had an encounter with a blonde typhoon (who, incidentally, never needed affirmative action) and since at least 1987 all the funs gone out of it. Of course, TINO must know this but, as ever, there's a deeper game being played. What all this slagging of one of our few successful industries is all about is an attempt to distract from an interesting coincidence. Entitlement Boy has a successful career in the City (and how many people think that makes him a loser ?) but TINO claims that alone doesn't qualify him for parliament. Except when discussing Margo 'TBA' James her career as a pharmo-flack is constantly cited as the perfect qualification for a seat in the House. To moi, a Gold Star is a Gold Star and a career is a career, so who's discriminating, again ?. At least the City provides a useful product, liquidity. PR ? Mr Chairman, could we have some more photos of you with the giant syringe ?

Then, again, this is business as usual for the modernisers. TBA's ascent is a Good Thing because lesbians are underrepresented in Parliament, saith the modernos. Well, yes indeed, lesbians are, but homosexuals as a group are massively over-represented. We can speculate why this is a natural state of affairs, but the modernistas have a question to answer. White, male, homosexuals are the most over-represented group in Parliament. The modernisers want to take action to run down the numbers of the first two groups but why not the last ? After all, homosexuality is at least a better predictor of beliefs than race, for certain. Yet, the modernisers are perfectly happy with the Conservative Party being a fetching shade of lavender. What's going on ?

So, the Hell with it. Modernisers claim the selection process is biased. Well, only one way to be sure. Anoymise the initial paper sift stage of the application process. Issue a standard set of questions and mark sheets to the local associations. Invite journalists along to observe, make the interviewers notes available on the web. Would that lower the respect of the public for the political process ? Such a thing is not possible. Would it make for uncomfortable moments for the Party ? Too right! But, not as bad as it'll be for Labour, forced to either reveal the Neanderthal nature of their local parties or let the public speculate over what they've got to hide. At last, we'll have an answer as to why you can find turbans anywhere in British life, except the Conservative benches. No quotas, no smoke-filled rooms, just a good, honest selection process. That'll make them happy, right ? I mean, it's not like this whole modernisation thing is a cheap excuse for them to pack the Party with their own people, right? Let's hear it for transparency!

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