Thursday, April 29, 2004
Vladivar Made Me Do It
Violent crimes booming, but it's alright, the Beeb's here to reassure us:
Violent crimes recorded by the police rose by 11% in the last quarter of last year, Home Office figures show.
The government said much of the increase was due to greater reporting and recording of low-level thuggery - which rose by 21%.
But, as Slick Willy would say, it depends what you mean by low-level:
More serious violent crimes such as homicide and serious wounding rose by 13%, compared to the same quarter in 2002, while "less serious" violent crime such as assaults was up 21% to 106,000 incidents.
Could part of the reason for crime being out of control involve the inspiring leadership of senior police officers who are more like MPs than MPs are ? Or are the authorities tied up tracking down real criminals ?
Who cares ? The governent will just find a scapegoat anyway. Even the loopiest of Liberals must be thinking the witchhunt against bangey things has now long passed the point of absurdity, so it's time to find a whole new set of witches to burn.
Ah yes.... vitamin XXX. It's all the fault of beer. I'm unconvinced. I have myself been studying beer for several years, yet I have not once seen even the coldest cans of ale attack anyone.
But, there's no stopping the health nazis:
A SUMMER blitz on underage and binge drinking will be announced today as latest Home Office figures show a 10 per cent rise in violent crime
As they said on Blankety Blank, the clue is in the question. We have thugs running round the streets causing chaos and the government thinks the blame lies with John Smith, Johnny Walker and Jim Bean. Right. Nowt to do with the fact that a large section of the population is incapable of accepting any responsibility for its behaviour. So, they get blasted then beat someone senseless - THE BREWERS MADE THEM DO IT. Of course. Meanwhile, the self-same government that refuses to take real action against convicted thugs wants to do to the recreational drinker what they did to recreational shooters. So the innocent get nailed, while the scum go free - that's the magic of government.