But Does Sarah Palin Understand The Offside Rule?

The results are in for the contest to find the stupidest comments about the Andy Gray affair and - shockingly - it's been a clean sweep for the Daily Mail.

Heading up the 'Amateur' category is a thought-provoking article by Kelly Smith - the thought being 'who the hell is Kelly Smith'? The answer apparently is someone who played girl-football or, as she modestly puts it, 'one of the best players in the world'.

Heh. Think that one over. She's one of the best players in the world, providing you exclude the hundreds of millions of better players who are the wrong sex. Her entire claim to fame is that she can compete successfully when men aren't allowed to compete at all, but she's complaining that men aren't welcoming enough to chicks who want to invade the men's game? Hello? I make that Self-awareness 0 Irony 5.

Still, in a sad echo of her sporting career, Kelly's lunacy is completely outshone by a male professional. Yep, proving once again you can take the man out the Guardian, but can't stop him being a huge mangina, Martin Samuels offers this:

This is Karren Brady's point about women being defined solely by gender in football. Nobody would link all male referees in the same way. If Gray held a dim view of Mike Riley, for instance, he would not have presumed the same of Mike Dean, purely because he was also a man called Mike.

Huh? I liked these guys better when they just called everyone Hitler. As it is, this analogy doesn't even make sense on its own terms.

There's no policy to rush anyone called 'Mike' straight up the ladder, we're not being constantly asked to subsidise a whole parallel world of Mike-only leagues, Mike Development Officers and the like, and you can criticise 'Wall Street II' without Michael Portillo demanding you be fired and Michael Buble writing a protest song.

Other than that, it's a perfect fit.

Fat Martin's point is just a more slippery version of the one from Kelly the Fantasist. Women officials will start with a three goal lead, but we all have to congratulate them on scoring a hatrick.

But that's not the best of it. No, as befits a true professional, Mart manages to leave Kelly in the dust and reach whole new heights of humbuggery. Yes, indeed: the Sexist-Finder General just happens to be the same guy who uses bogus quotes to try and smear a real woman of achievement as a bimbo.

Jack Straw Shoots Congresswoman

See, this is exactly why you need to keep your scorecard up to date: jovial Jack Straw suggests there may be a problem with the 'Pakistani community' and their attitudes to girls who are not-so-Pakistani but even that exercise in euphemism can't stop the left howling and whining (which at least provides us with a nice contrast to their deafening silence every time one of these cases gets uncovered).

Meanwhile, a Democrat Congresswoman gets shot and it's all Sarah Palin's fault.

So there you have it: Sarah Palin's harsh rhetoric (meaning: she wants to win elections) drives people to murder, but the Koran's constant references to the degenerate nature of the Infidel? Just a little over-exuberance by Allah.

Of course, there is the fact that while Sarah's never shot anyone, while Mohammed.....

Weakest Palin Slam Evah?

Some days 'respectable conservatism' seems mightily like drinking the kool aid.

Yes, writing notes on your palm is exactly like being tied to a teleprompter, just like if she quotes the Declaration of Independence in a speech, that means she's a plagiarist. Huh?

Proof of concept: if Palin's notes had washed off on the way to the podium, would she have turned in to a babbling mess like....like.... this... uh... guy?

And then there's this.

Kabloooey! Suddenly I realise where I've seen this all before. Think of Sarah Palin as the Roadrunner and the 'respectable right' and all points left as Certified Super Genius Wile E Coyote. Every single time they think they've totally nailed her, they somehow end up under the boulder while Sarah disappears in the distance.

Perfect

Things you always knew, but couldn't put into words: meet the 'Ransom Note Method'.

Quote Of The Day

Liberalism as a mental illness? What makes you say that?

Still, at least the comments include this better than Shakespeare summary of where we are today:

We've gone from "When you were kids, you all admired the champion marble shooter, the fastest runner, big league ball players, the toughest boxers" to "Those of us with vivid memories of middle school..." in a matter of two generations. Somewhere out there lies an America that may have disappeared for some time, but will arrive again, maybe a century from now.

PDS: Confirmed Case In Britain

Further evidence for my theory that, liberal hysteria to the contrary, the Daily Mail just isn't that good an example of right wing thought: Quentin Letts, Daily Mail columnist and full-time Cameron groupie filing a column full of unhinged, misogynistic lunacy.

Liberals: All Class, All The Time

RWN rounds up the 20 most obnoxious anti-Palin quotes. If nothing else, they nicely bury the myth that it's the right which is nasty.

Meanwhile, the left is celebrating their own version of the storming of the Bastille. Doubtless, if Baz wins there'll be a public holiday to celebrate the storming of the Palin e-mail account.

So there you have it, the liberal position in a nutshell: reading other people's e-mail is cool, unless they're terrorists, in which case it's an outrage. See? It makes perfect sense!

Cognitive Dissonance?

Apparently, even the Indie staffers don't read their own rag. Today's headline story was a report claiming fewer woman are scoring top jobs. Typical sob sister stuff, but what was above it? Why, a full page banner photo of Bristol Palin and fiancée, of course. No mixed message there then!

PDS

I'm a firm believer in Ann Coulter's dictum that the effective conservative is always the one liberals are calling evil, stupid, insane or all three, so naturally I'm pleased by the reaction to Sarah Palin's candidacy.

This little summary is two days old, so probably doesn't include the last sixty or so talking points/rumours/LSD hallucinations, but it gives a nice sense of the left's effortless class. To think, some of us remember the days when the right was attacked for being too hostile to teenage mothers.

The thing I don't get is how Bristol Palin's pregnancy is supposed to vindicate all these stupid rumours. Take one of the (marginally) less crazy rumours, that Sarah Palin pretended to be pregnant to hide the fact Bristol was pregnant with Trig (and, again, I remind you that this one of the saner rumours). So now the Palins have released news of Bristol's pregnancy, that proves the Palins obviously engaged in a nine month conspiracy to hide a previous Bristol pregnancy. Huh? Plus why would someone who's supposed to be just the obscure chief exec of a bunch of moose molesting white trash bother about hiding a pregnancy anyway? Isn't that par for the course for a bunch of trailer trash from a small town like Alaska?

If Sarah Palin achieves nothing else, she's exposed the femiloons for what they are. When this stuff gets a pass, it kind of cuts the ground from under the femiloon's usual atrocity stories.

Ditto, the MSM. Having thrown whole hillsides full of mud at Palin with nary a hit, the MSM's new tactic is to claim that McCain was negligent in selecting a VP candidate who liberals could smear so easily. St Ann points out the obvious problem:

Barring some all-new, trivial and probably false story about Palin -- her former hairdresser got a parking ticket in 1978! -- the media apparently intend to keep being hysterical about McCain's alleged failure to "vet" Palin properly. The problem with this argument is that it presupposes that everyone is asking: "HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?"

No one's saying that.

Attacks on McCain's "vetting" process require the media to keep claiming that Palin has a lot of problems. But she doesn't have any problems. Remember? Those were all blind alleys.

At least there are some resources out that are more reliable than the MSM.

Reading This Garbage So You Don't Have To

Shorter Currie: 'I tried to sleep my way to the top, so that cow I hated must have done the same'

Yep, I Think We All Saw This One Coming

Don't be shocked, but the new BBC drama about Lady Thatcher includes a stupid smear. Specifically, it casts the young Lady Thatcher as a slut trying to sleep her way to the top, featuring a scene in.....

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Sorry, dropped off there. Doubtless, the Jules and Rozes at the BBC think this constitutes radical program making. It isn't - it's just pathetic.

Yep, Lady Thatcher might have beaten the left senseless all through the 1980s but they'll get their revenge now, by making a nasty program about her. That'll teach her. Apart from anything else, a woman trying to seduce Ted Heath ? Was she on the rebound from Liberace ?

I guess the BBC prefers to lavish praise on women who've succeeded on their own merits.