Monday, January 01, 2007

Theocracy Warning!!!!!

Everyone panic! The Christianists are trying to lecture us again. When will these weird cultists stop trying to foist their warped values on us sane people ?

Oops. Turns out the Hippy was talking about Iraq, doubtless quoting the famous parable about the Good Samaritan who realised he had no right to interfere in other people’s business. Anyway, let’s check the scorecard here. Church talking about sexual mores: evil attempt to impose their values on people. Church talking about military strategy: valuable contribution from the nation’s conscience.

But that’s not the best of it. Not only does the Bible include previously overlooked hints on waging war, it also includes tips on education. Hey, we should ask him if there’s anything in there about setting or practical work.

Actually, now I think about it, the Church of England is the ultimate example of my theory that there is a positive correlation between how bad an institution is at its core mission, and how much extraneous nonsense it devotes itself to. Let’s talk about education: back in the day they taught the three Rs and anything less than 90% literacy was a scandal. Now, schools seem to spend half their time talking about taking drugs anally in the rainforest (I admit it’s a while since I’ve read the curriculum), and a third of the kids couldn’t read the side of a cornflake packet. Or take Mr Plod: he might not be able to catch the clap in Amsterdam, but he’s got a nifty line in outreach. And so on….

So it is with the Anglicans. Their success at promoting Christian values in the wider society speaks for itself, but even on purely parochial issues they’re pathetic. Consider that new legislation means C of E schools will be forced to teach the glories of rampant butt banging. An observer might think that the Hippy was rather better qualified to speak out on this issue rather than the intricacies of national defence but no, he’s been rather more circumspect here. Apparently, Jesus’ teachings coincide exactly with the agenda of the Guardian.

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