Turns Out It's Not 1997 Again After All......

They were so close they could almost taste it but no.... instead it all ended in heartbreak for them.

It turns out the left haven't found their new Tony Blair after all. 

It wasn't meant to be this way. Gareth Southgate's Soccerstasi were supposed to be the vanguard of Nu Britannia, sticking it to all the squaresville losers who pointed out that filthy rich sports stars are not actually victims after all. 

Who knew that when he said 'you will lose' he was actually talking to his own team? 

The good news is that if you've ever wanted to own several million England flags, barely used, then the Labour Party can sort you out, plus if you buy ten they'll throw in an almost new copy of 'The Dummies Guide to Patriotism' as well. 

The parallels with the rise of Tony Blair aren't just the left's sudden Strange New Respect for national unity and pulling together (until approximately twelve hours ago anyway) but that Gareth Southgate uses the same basic fraud as our Former Messiah. Just like Phoney Tony, he's confident enough denouncing his opponents but his rhetoric is firmly rooted in the abstract when it comes to explaining what he actually does believe, and for pretty much the same reason. 

Spoiler Alert, the left's hysterical shrieking about raycism every time someone questions their embrace of BLM is not, in fact, because they think Critical Race Theory is a perfectly respectable, non-insane ideology and a certain vote winner. 

I know, shocking right?

It's certainly seems to have been missed by half the country's Professional Conservatives. 

Stay Back! He's Got A Biro And He's Not Afraid To Use It

Good news shipmates! Chief Inspector Ahab in Durham has finally nailed the Great White Terrorist.

Yes, indeed. People can now sleep safe in their beds knowing the police are hard at work stopping people writing things.

Yep, really:

A teenage neo-Nazi terrorist who identified possible targets in his home city has today been locked up for six years and eight months.

The 17-year-old boy drafted his own manifesto which listed 'Areas to Attack' in Durham such as schools, pubs and council buildings. He also wrote of planning to conduct an arson spree with Molotov cocktails on local synagogues.

Various handwritten documents were seized from his bedroom in March by police who also found a collection of far-right literature, Manchester Crown Court heard.

Analysis of his computer devices and mobile phone uncovered numerous internet searches on firearms, explosives and knives....

The youth was also unanimously found guilty of disseminating a terrorist publication, possessing an article for a purpose connected with terrorism and three counts of possessing a document or record containing information likely to be useful to a terrorist.

So, basically, he wrote some stuff and read some stuff. This must be some special government definition of 'planning'... although, come to think of it, this apparent confusion of vaguely fantasising about something with actually planning it might explain a lot about the modern police service.

Cressida Dick probably put 'Reduce Knife Crime' on her vision board then just forgot about it.

Plus, if young people fantasising about killing their enemies is now a jailable offence, well, I'm guessing this could get embarrassing for the Guardian.

Really embarrassing.

Say, I wonder what the difference is between these two cases?

Equality FTW!

It doesn't get any better:

In the month before his arrest in March, he repeatedly searched for and visited websites related to 'lone wolf' attacks by the likes of Oklahoma bomber Timothy McVeigh, the Norwegian far-right terrorist Anders Breivik and Columbine High School shooters Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold.

Huh? The Columbine killers were hardly political. And then there's this:

He had also purchased the manifestos of Breivik and another terrorist, Ted Kaczynski, known as the Unabomber.

Say, if Brevik was far-right, how come the Unabomber isn't 'far left'?

In journal entries the youth wrote of his admiration for Adolf Hitler - 'a brave man to say the least', Moors murderer Ian Brady - 'how wonderful it is to be an amoral individual' and murderous cult leader Charles Manson.

So that's one guy who's Literally Hitler, a pervert and a grifter who got too caught up in his own scam.

In August 2018 he wrote a things-to-do list, which included the instruction 'shed empathy' and referenced a shooting at a video gaming tournament in Jacksonville, Florida, where two people were killed.

The Fuhrer was well known for his hatred of video gamers!

The youth also wrote of his dislike of school, spoke disparagingly of Durham having a Jewish MP and described the North East as a 's***hole', stating 'the people are loathable, the sights forgettable and the police laughable'.

Sounds like the average Corbynista to me!

This is clearly a case of a seriously screwed up kid, deep into some dark stuff, but an actual terrorist?

Really? 

Who's the victim exactly? And how does any of this not apply to Owen Jones... or about eight bazilion other teenage boys? If this guy's a 'Nazi terrorist', does that mean every goth in the country is a vampire?

And that's not the worst of it.  Check this out:

It is understood that the boy had initially been referred to Prevent, the government's anti-extremism mechanism, but failed to engage fully. 

Yep, he's such a super dangerous terrorist that they... left him on the streets.

He was OK to carry on terroristically writing things in a terrorising way, right up until he failed to show due respect for the unelected, unaccountable commissars running a supposed anti-extremism program based on an ideology responsible for 100 million deaths. That's why he got jailed.

If only he had agreed that there are five lights, he would still be out there now, free to write Mein Kampf II: No More Mr Nice Guy.

Boris Johnson Is Your PM And Solo Lost Money

Now that we've got that whole 'election' thing out of the way, it's time to move on to the really important issue, namely the release of Star Wars 9: The Rise of Skywalker.

Hey, I'm only half joking. Politics really is down-stream of culture, and - as extensively documented by Itchybacca here - Disney Lucasfilm have never made any secret of their desire to use these latest movies to push a social justice agenda (hence the two alternative names suggested: Ruse of Soywalker and Star Wars Nein).

Consider the history of Disney Star Wars since they bought out George Lucas. The first film, The Force Awakens, was a mostly inoffensive remake of A New Hope, albeit the decision to portray Han Solo as a deadbeat dad should have tipped us off. Ditto, stand alone movie Rogue One was a good entry to the series.... but then came The Last Jedi...

This is the movie where one of the characters says 'let the past die, kill it if you have to' - as fine a statement of SJW philosophy as you'll find. The trouble was, as it always is with these guys, that the film established that Disney Lucasfilm  really, really hated Star Wars, but also that they had no idea what to replace it with. They made Luke Skywalker a bitter loser and a coward (really) but couldn't create a single memorable character to replace him with - or at least memorable for the right reasons. Absurd super women rubbed shoulders with borderline moronic male characters while spewing out sub-Titania McGrath talking points, but none of them came within a country mile of an actual plot. The movie opened big but then set the record for the biggest drop off from week one to week two once word got around. Ditto, merchandising - always a big factor for Star Wars - was a disaster zone.

And that's how Solo lost money! $70 million lost on a Star Wars movie - who'd have believed that even five years ago? True, Solo was relatively woke-free, if you ignore the coolest character in the Star Wars universe getting continuously chumped by women, but The Last Jedi had already killed the golden goose, plucked it, then set fire to it and thrown the ashes in the river by the time Solo came around.

Now it all comes down to Rise of Skywalker to make or break a franchise Disney paid $4.05 billion for. Hence why the people who wanted to kill the past have suddenly decided to make the Big Bad Emperor Palpatine - aka the guy who got killed in 1983s Return of the Jedi.

And then there's the desperate attempts to cram in footage of the late, great, Carrie Fisher, left over from The Force Awakens (leading some to call the movie Star Wars Plan 9 From Outer Space). Consider what it says about these people that, even dead, Carrie Fisher still has more charisma than the dullsville wokeling drones they've inserted in the new movies.

The irony is that Disney Lucasfilm have succeeded in pushing a political message, just the opposite of the one they were hoping to push. They tried to ditch actual Star Wars in favour of woke nonsense that only vaguely resembled the world George Lucas created, smearing anyone who objected as a racist, misogynist, homophobic Nazi. All they succeeded in doing was ditching existing fans in pursuit of a new, woke fanbase that may or may not exist.

Of course, this new movie might still make a shedload of cash - it is the biggest franchise in the world after all - but the desperate attempts to row back on the uber woke Last Jedi, even to the point of virtual necromancy, already speak to the failure of Lucasfilm's New Girl Order. The more they trashed Star Wars, the more it emphasised how much better the original films were than their PC garbage.

All of which brings us back to the wider political point. Disney Lucasfilm justified trashing their own franchise with the claim that it was [current year] yo! They didn't need old white guys like Luke Skywalker when they could replace them with cool new, sexually ambiguous, characters of various ethnicties like.... you know, that one, the one who did that thing...

SJWs always dismiss their critics as squaresville losers but it's them who always seem to struggle with getting normal people through the door. Consider the latest entries to the ledger entitled Get Woke, Go Broke:

Ghostbusters 2016
Terminator: Dark Fate
Dark Phoenix
Charlies Angels 2019
Black Christmas 2019

All of them were attempts to 'reimagine' (i.e. rip off) older, more successful movies/franchises, but with more wokeness, and all of them imploded.

In so far as we can judge from what real people spend their money on, it's not conservatives that are out of touch with the public.

PC Is Class War In Disguise

Julie's right again: no matter how hard you play the victim card, there's always someone higher up in the progressive stack ready to trump you.

Doreen Lawrence, whose 18-year-old son was murdered by a gang of racists in south-east London in 1993, said she has "no doubt" the response to the inferno that killed 72 people was motivated by racism.

"Had that been a block full of white people, they’d have done everything to get them out as fast as possible and make sure that they did what they needed to do," she said, in an interview with Channel 4 News last week.

Say, anyone thinking someone may have been turned down on their offer of anti-racism consultancy services for the Fire Brigade?

Expect our fearless MSM to ask about that about the same time they ask anyone on the left if they support this loony theory. 

Reminder: Fat Dave Cameron thought this sleaze was worthy of the exact same honour given to the longest serving Prime Minister of the Twentieth Century. Truly, he is the gift that keeps on giving.

A vote of thanks too for the BBC, who voted her Britain's most influential women in 2014, numerous universities who gave her honorary degrees, and the Pride of Britain Award's which gave her a lifetime achievement award, none of whom apparently noticed she was a race-hustling low-life. 

Say, why does that sound familiar? 

Channel 4's managed to beat them all though now. Here's a channel that constantly preaches about the dangers of inflammatory rhetoric and sneers at supposed conspiracy theories but carries claims of racist conspiracies to commit mass murder without asking for a single shred of proof.

Say what you like about T**** R******* but at least there really are jihadist rape gangs - except, apparently, we can ignore him because he's a hatey-hater.

Well, OK, then, if those are the rules, what do we call a bunch of Metropolitan rich kids who happily push insane theories about the fire brigade as a branch of the KKK?

Channel 4 ran with these claims without asking for a shred of proof because they believe it to be self-evident that any group of blue-collar, white, folks will be a cesspit of deranged bigotry. Their readiness to believe this insanity is proof of how much of PC is just plain class hatred.

The Ouroboros Must Be Fed

So, farewell then, Danny Baker, latest victim of the Offendotrons. 

Lest we forget though, this guy would gladly have piled on if it'd been anybody else. Behind the bogus cor blimey guv'nor facade, he's just another media liberal who found out too late that you can never be woke enough.

Curiously enough, I can't seem to find any articles about how this case raises wider issues about the dark side of remain voters and/or Corbynistas.

Meanwhile, it's D+8 and still no one's been fired over this (these guys are all about the equality)!

Hey, did you ever think the day would come when liberals would be outraged by people mocking the Royals? This is all further proof of my theory that the new left is just the old right. Angry of Tunbridge Wells has been replaced by Woke of Walthamstowe. If only Kenny Everett was alive today, just think what he could do with these guys?

Licenced Rebels

Who'd have thunk it? Liberals were still busy being outraged by the Grenfell Reenactment Society when a top lefty luvvie popped up to explain that poppies were 'racist' and 'white supremacist'.

If the murder of a cardboard box is actionable then I think this must cross the line but, curiously enough, there's no evidence that his bins have been searched. In fact he remains remarkably 'not arrested'.

Hey, at least the Grenfell Reneactment Society weren't actively advocating for more fires, meanwhile - in the context of the whole #punchanazi, no-platforming, lynch mob left - it's not hard to see why some people might think Bastani's comments were a tacit endorsement of violence.

Personally, I'm a free speech maximalist. Some people go the other way, and think the government can and should enforce virtue on people, but there is surely no constituency for what we have now, where Joe Public gets his house raided by the Joke Police at the drop of a match, but members of the snootocracy can be as foul as they want and all they get is the chance to posture as courageous rebels.

You Will Be Made To Care

If only the Heretics D'Jour had asked my advice, I'd have told them to claim it wasn't a model of Grenfell Towers, it was actually one of the Twin Towers. Instead of facing a lynch mob, they'd now be  getting their own Channel 4 show.

Hey, is it just me, or does it seem like the having the savoir faire to navigate the fine line between edgy humour and offensive filth is just a subtle form of class privilege?  

Then there's the fact this all started because some SJW found the whole thing so offensively offensive that they had little option but to secretly record the whole thing and then upload it so other people could be offended by it as well, and then forward it on so everyone else would have the chance to be offended. 

Say what you like about Mary Whitehouse, but when she denounced the evils of Da Porno at least she didn't insist on posting everyone a copy of Anal Invader IV so they could see exactly how offensive it was. Meanwhile, it appears the left have turned into exactly the kind of curtain-twitching hypocrites they always accused us of being.

Come to think of it, the left are worse. Back in the days of government ministers proclaiming 'Back to Basics' while banging hot young things, at least they were getting something out of it - specifically, banging hot young things.  Leftists are happy to be judgemental hypocrites just for the sake of it.  

Talking of people who are full of it, in so far as the only issue is whether or not this even constitutes an offense, why exactly have the police started searching their houses, including the bins? What are they hoping to find? Evidence of a secret, underground network of satirists? Do they all think they're starring in '24' and they've got just 2 hours 34 minutes to stop the extreme extremists going online with a Youtube video featuring finger puppets called Diane Flabbot and Sadiq Khan't?

Nope, it's pure intimidation and a fishing expedition. They're trying to find something, anything, to stick on these guys, and meanwhile they'll rummage through their daughter's underwear draw just to show them who's boss.

By the way, if you're wondering how the Met found the resources to trawl through someone's bins, well, the answers simple: they took them away from investigating minor trivia, like stabbings. 

Misusing search warrants in this way is a genuine outrage against civil  liberties, but don't expect any of the usual suspects to complain about this. They're too busy being outraged that ISIS supporters who went to Iraq might be tried under Iraqi law. That outrages them, but the de facto return of blasphemy laws is a yawner.

Diversity: This Is What It ALWAYS Means

Don't be shocked everyone, but it appears that contrary to the spin from the MSM Eunuch Army, even Disney aren't convinced that the public is crying out for a bold new era of SJWised Star Wars. Otherwise, why so slippery about what it is that the 'Lucasfilm Story Group' actually does?

The always interesting Itchybacca at DSWID rounds up the many - many -  different explanations given for this group's role, and pieces together what they really do. 

Yep, Disney shareholders are paying for a deranged SJW version of Saudi Arabia's Committee for the Promotion of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice. 

That would be bad enough but as Itchybacca points out, this isn't a group of unusually PC movie people, this is a bunch of PC clowns who are barely qualified to make YouTube videos. They're obsessed with ramming politics into Star Wars because ideological purity is literally the only thing they're bringing to the table.

And that's how they lost $80 million on a Star Wars movie....

And Just Like That 'Culture' Ceased To Matter

As I was saying, the worst thing about the Usual Suspects blaming every single problem suffered by the white working class on the supposed evils of white culture is that they would never in a million years apply the same logic to any other group. 

Consider Exhibit A.

Yes, indeed. The food businesses in the country with the lowest hygiene scores are in Birmingham and Hyndburn in Lancashire, and the MSM acts like it's a real three pipe problem: who can possibly say what's behind this phenomenom?

Not the Daily Mail, that's for sure. The Fearless Voice of Britain illustrates the article with a picture of fish and chips... because that's exactly the kind of establishment where this happens.

It's gets dafter. Say what you like about him, but Stan Collymore at least states the point clearly. Black commentators are sell outs if they're inoffensive *or* if they're likeable. Basically, the only way to keep it real is to be an obnoxious thug.

At least he's in the clear then!

Personally, I admire him for stating openly what is merely implied by charmers like Diane Abbot and 'Detective Dave' Lammy (when not hunting for the hidden dead bodies from Grenfell). Stripped of their standard evasions and slippery euphemisms, these people have spent years pushing the idea that  dysfunctional insanity is the true barometer of black authenticity. But don't you dare suggest that might have any negative social consequences....

...because that would be RACISSSSS!

The Prince And The Ho Girl

Just to clarify for anyone who misheard it the first time, Prince Harry has been made Duke of Sussex, not Duke of Cuckex.

Meanwhile, it turns out that even the supposedly devil may care rebels at Paddy Power aren't taking bets on how long it will all last...although that might not be down to lack of courage so much as lack of anyone stupid enough to bet on it going north of seven years. But this is about much more than another case of our alleged elite assuring us that there are no such things as 'icebergs' while sane people quietly make their way to the lifeboats.

Most political issues are fairly remote from daily life, but this fiasco gets right to the heart of modern culture. Take note of how all the alleged experts agree that Harry is the very model of the modern man. Never mind that sooner or later they will retcon him into the Worst Husband Ever, right now he's the pin up boy for the Guy Doing The Right Thing - and he's doomed.

Of course, it's not all bad news: some people serve as examples to inspire all who come after them, while others serve as cautionary tales. His Grace, the Duke of Cuckex, is firmly in group two but at least there's no room for ambiguity here. This is going to be a train wreck of epic proportions and that being so, soon no one will be able to avoid the elephant in the room.

Some people use a matrix analogy, and talk of blue pills and red pills. They mean in the sense of choosing between the blue pill, aka the comforting lies of modern culture, and the red pill as the brutal truths of modern life. It's a bit like, say, the choice between believing that you can have a successful relationship with an aging slapper who has successively ditched her family, her friends, her husband and even one of her dogs (her dog!), and realizing that, as the philosopher Louis D'Cris once said, you can't turn a ho into a housewife.

To the point, if there's any truth in the pretty lies of our feminized PC culture, then a war hero, nice guy and bona fide *prince* surely ought to be able to have a successful marriage.

There aren't, so he's screwed, and not in a good way.

That's not to say that you need to necessarily present Junior with all three of Rollo Tomassi's books on his thirteenth birthday, but we have to acknowledge that sending out young boys into our toxic culture without at least a basic understanding of red pill principles is a form of child abuse. If nothing else, they need to know enough to avoid women with more red flags than Anfield on match day.

Reality Is Banned

And talking of the BBC, apparently it's now verboten to assume that a facial disfigurement is disfiguring.

Isn't that liberals all over? If liberals ran a restaurant, they wouldn't worry about half the patrons going down with botulism, but you'd get thrown out for using the wrong one of the 87 knives.

Question D'Jour

Deliberate or not? An almost textbook example of the Men of No Appearance school of reporting is unfortunatly marred by the revelation that these mysterious 'youths' were shouting 'get the whities'.

Dang! Don't you just hate it when that happens?

Hollywood Still Awful

Interesting theory over at Big Hollywood on just why modern movies are terrible.

I'd actually say he's underestimated the awfulness of liberalism. These guys not only have a downer on individual responsibility for bad behaviour, they don't believe in moral judgements in the first place - not unless the villain has blond hair anyway.

Consider the difference between 1971's The Omega Man and 2007's I Am Legend. In 26 years we've gone from Colonel Neville under siege by Matthias's crazed cult to Will Smith fighting CGI monsters. Of course, one problem may be that by 2007 standards, Matthias's cult were probably saner than half of California but at least they had a coherent motivation. Absent that, what are you left with? Two hours of Will Smith shooting at computer graphics.

In fact, it's a double whammy. Hollywood not only won't produce villains with any more coherent motivation than an urge to drown puppies, they simply assign any vaguely right-wing characters to the same puppy-drowning demographic.

Consider Michael Douglas in Wall Street, Jack Nicholson in A Few Good Men or Alec Baldwin in Glengarry Glen Ross. Chances are you can quote at least one line from each. They were meant to be villains, but they had rational motivations and the ability to explain why they believed what they did. In short, they were believable. Now? It's all drowned puppies and mutants.

PC And The Shrunken Mandate

NNW isn't too impressed by the left's response - or lack thereof - to Weinergate.

Indeed, it's not just Weiner that's been left exposed. It's hard not to notice that the left's conception of freedom looks a little... shrunken? Flaccid? Inadequate?

Libs think anyone who has issues with the Honourable Member's Honourable Member appearing in in-boxes across America is, like, a total square but if he had used a felt tip to write 'Islam Sucks' on his junk beforehand, they'd have demanded the death sentence.

Of course, we've been here before. Hell, after years spent defending Clinton, Weiner flashing his majority to all and sundry probably seems refreshingly normal to them.

Liberals are proverbial for turning into Bernard Manning once one of their guys falls foul of PC, but the corollary is often missed. Professional conservatives endlessly jibber-jabber about the need to ditch the embarrassing bumpkins in the base, get with the PC program and reach out to all those groovy youngsters who were just waiting to vote conservative, but were put off by the lack of tackle twittering. But how does that work exactly?

In so far as leftists in both the US and Britain ditch their PC principles faster than a speeding e-mail once one of their guys is in the frame, why even pretend it's anything other than a stick to beat conservatives with? Criticising Cherie Blair's sleazy dealing is The Sexism, but John Prescott can use his private office like a harem, and that's 'just John' as Tony helpfully explained. Why even bother to play in a rigged game?

Best Blowback Story Evah!

Hey, you'd think someone would do something about this PC garbage, wouldn't you?

Heh.

If not hoist by his own petard, Cameron has at least been hoist by a petard that he had assured us was a perfectly lovely petard that none but right-wing extremists could possibly object to.

After all, this is the central issue of the whole PC thing. True, these guys will never see eye-to-eye with Cameron but do these comments rise to the level of actual criminality?

Clearly, the only answer is to suspend The Dave for six months while a Board of Inquiry looks at this case.

Joking aside, this guy has a point, or rather two aspects of the same point. Cameron's apparent belief that his job is Comedian-in-Chief and that all his jokes boil down to sneering at people who aren't him speak to the same issue. Sure, The Dave keeps all but telling us he was born to rule, and how everyone who opposes him is a therefore clearly some kind of freak, but as George Bush Snr would say 'where's the vision thing'? How does he see his role as PM? What's he trying to achieve? Nada. He's much happier telling us how everyone else sucks than explaining just why we should trust him in power.

Shocka! Professional Charistocrats Are Lefty Kool Aid Drinkers

Seriously? Is anyone shocked by this?

The only real surprise is that there are still people on the right prepared to treat these people as anything other than the leftist kooks they indisputably are.

Politicians Telling Us Who They Are

So now we know: our elected representatives are a foul-mouthed collection of thugs. All of which means....

No, wait: Mr Liberal would like to point out it's just a tiny minority who don't represent the vast majority of peace-loving MPs. Really? If these people are just an unrepresentative fringe, why are their colleagues so reluctant to discipline, or even name, them? These guys are public servants, using their working hours to scream abuse at near-minimum wage public servants in a public building. If ever there was a right to know, this is it. Seems like the average MP is plenty comfortable with thuggery, after all.

But there's something deeper going on here. This all supports Canadian writer Kathy Shaidle's theory that PC is Class War by other means. For years, we've had to put up with finger-wagging lectures from our self-appointed betters about insensitive language - even in the most absurd of contexts. PC witch hunts have wrecked careers and wasted billions of pounds, but now members in good standing of the chattering classes are on the hook, it turns out that screaming real abuse and actual threats at people is perfectly fine.

Who'd have thunk it?

This Week's 'National Curriculum Still Not Full Enough' Story

After years of ostentatious non-judgementalism, liberal educrats have finally found an issue where the morality is absolute. Yep: it's the war on chocolate. Actually, I think they've got a point, they really are teaching the kids a valuable lesson, namely the difference between liberals and conservatives. Hey, kids, not only do we not rob your sweeties, we think it should be legal to shoot anyone who does.

Still, you have to say this: it certainly throws the achievements of Ronaldus Magnus into sharp relief. In 1980, still deep in the Cold War, we lived with the possibility of millions of Marxist savages storming westwards, then suddenly the stoppidy-stoopid B-movie actor got elected and now Marxists are reduced to taking candy from babies.

Short summary: Marxists wanted to conquer Western Europe, but now they have to settle for seizing the Galaxy instead. Also, the Twix and the Kit-Kats. They're not against all chocolates though - in fact, the management appears to be 99% Flakes. Here's the Hag-in-Chief herself:

Headmistress Deborah Metcalf said: 'We were finding that some children could be bringing in crisps, a Mars bar and can of Coke with their lunches. This stance is trying to work with parents to provide a healthy meal for their children.'

Yes, seizing other people's property in order to try and conscript their children into your hippy-dippy, New Age junk science cult counts as working with parents, much as the guy with a machete and a balaclava works with passers-by to re engineer their financial arrangements.

But let's just take time-out to check the scorecard here: liberal educrats claim educayshun is kind of like brain surgery, but extra hard, and so no one who hasn't spent at least year smoking pot studying education at a teacher training college can possibly have any useful input. On the other hand, it turns out fitness and nutrition are so easy even semi-literates who've never held down a real job and couldn't give you the formula for ice can decide what every one else should eat. Makes you wonder why Arsenal make such a song and dance about it all, right?

Of course, that leads on to the other factor. Back in the day, we could eat just about anything without weight being an issue. Hey, it's almost like there's some other factor that's missing....

But that's the thing. Horrible liberal hags screech about the dangers of obesity, but when it comes to the one thing that always works to get rid of fat? Nope, things are bad, but not bad enough to justify actual exercise.

Hmmmm... is it just me, or are other people beginning to suspect that it isn't really about health, after all. Hey, not only do predictions of an Impending Fatocalyspse make the whole Global Warming thing look like hard science, at least Al Gore doesn't have an enormous CO2-eating machine sitting unused in his loft (For the benefit of any teachers reading this, CO2 is the chemical formula for carbon dioxide).

As with the other example Julie points out, liberals seem to have adopted the belief that the law is a Lamarckian project, growing new nodules as the need arises. People flying airliners into buildings was one thing, but kids eating chocolate? Suddenly, it turns out that the whole 'human rights' thing is a bit of a drag after all....

Yes, I know what you're thinking: can we stop with the incessant whining about racial profiling at airports if we use teachers to search the lunatics dressed as Osama Bin Laden? It's a tempting thought, but the terrorists might be offended by their extremist anti-western views.

After all, it's not just the appalling governmental thuggery on display here. There's also the terrible science. Eating chocolate at 10 years old can make you fat in later life? Huh? How does that work? Really: these people should be locked in a small room until they can come up with a plausible mechanism to explain how chocolate bars ingested in 2009 can suddenly re materialise in the gut in 2025. Where does it go in between?

Nope, fat thirty-somethings got that way because of what they're doing now, not what they did back in the Reagan years. Losing weight isn't that hard: eat less, exercise more, except now the debate has been hijacked by screechy dimbulbs like Deborah Metcalf, trying to use it to download their frustrations at being going-nowhere, idiot losers. Enough already: there is nothing in a whole truck load of Yorkie bars quite as toxic or liable to lead to failure as letting Junior be influenced by these worthless members of Britain's self-selecting underclass.

The Clue Is In The Question

Yes, it's a mystery why Glasgow Airport would be worried about Islamic terrorism. But wait... could it be that Hell will freeze over before these people protest this?

PC: Not All Bad

Chalk one up for the blowback files! Pious lefty pillock Harry Enfield falls foul of a ridiculous racism complaint.

But wait.... I've just remembered: Harry and pals are quite clear that if something is perceived as racist then it obviously is. That must make Harry the Bernard Manning de nos jours - except without the jokes.