UKIP Agent Reports 'Mission Accomplished'

Clearly, another crude attempt to smear the legacy parties as sleazy, money-grabbing trash.

Journalists Thought They Were The Wife Not The Other Women

Really, I can't get too excited about the whole post-Leveson thing. Yes, it's an outrageous act of governmental thuggery, on the other hand, the MSM's been perfectly happy to help the government shred plenty of other rights, just as long as it wasn't their ox being gored.

 Take the whole 'hate speech' thing. The very same people in the press who are now sermonising about the vital importance of a free press were the ones who helped throw free speech under the bus. Ditto, freedom of association, freedom of religion and free trade. Pre-Levenson one of the few certainties was that wherever there was a jackboot stamping on the face of a citizen, there would be MSM journalists there to report that it was a far-right, extremist face that didn't even recycle its rubbish properly.

Just as long as journalists thought they were fellow insiders, they were happy to pal around with politicians, sniggering at the Ford-driving classes. Now the MSM has found out that the pols just aren't that into them and suddenly they want us to believe they're Voltaire reborn.

Honestly, it's enough to make Monica Lewinsky look dignified.

British Socialism: Still Dead

Hey, isn't this pretty much what the Labour Party was set up to fight?

Feeding Crocodiles Still Not Working

I've changed my mind. I used to think Tory MPs were useless because they were sleazy and gutless, but I now realise it may be that they are just plain retarded:

I have enormous respect for the police. But this has knocked my confidence in the police and made me wonder whether there are certain elements for whom political correctness has become too much of a driving force.

And these people accuse the conservative base of being out of touch? Still, at least now he's awake, he's got his head in the game, right?

The 50-year-old MP for East Worthing and Shoreham-by-Sea yesterday said he would be demanding an explanation from Sussex Chief Constable Martin Richards.

Yeah, that'll teach him. Surely Comrade Richards will tremble as he realises that he has awoken a sleeping giant and filled him with a mild sense of dissatisfaction?

It gets better:

During the investigation, which is likely to have cost taxpayers up to £100,000, Mr Loughton’s staff were also interviewed and hours were spent trawling through archives for evidence before it was abruptly dropped by the Crown Prosecution Service last month.

Tough luck if you thought you'd written to your MP in confidence! More to the point, how can I put this? Even if you think what Billy might have said to Bob should be a matter for law enforcement, that hardly justifies them trawling Billy's letters to Brian and Brenda.

By the way: uniformed thugs stormed the office of an elected official, intimidated his staff and seized correspondence. Isn't that the stuff Amnesia Intentional and the rest of the Umanrites lobby used to complain about?

Put that way, demanding an explanation doesn't really cut it. In fact, it's the perfect example of why voting Tory is the real wasted vote. You vote Labour, you get witch hunts against anyone who refuses to drink the kool aid, you vote Tory, you get the same but with mild expressions of disagreement from useless timeservers like Loughton.

At Least Astrologers Don't Have A Body Count

It's another great day for the Rehab Industry:

A serial rapist who tied his girlfriend's housemate to a bed before killing her and dismembering her body was today sentenced to serve at least 37 years in prison...

The court heard how Sharp was allowed back on to the streets after multiple convictions for sex crimes stretching back 30 years, despite telling parole officers he fantasised about raping and killing women.

Oh, what does he know? He's probably just another tabloid-reading goon who didn't even go to Oxbridge.

Seriously though, if even the predator himself admitting to planning his next crime doesn't ring any alarm bells, this does kind of blow the whole 'carefully monitored'  thing out of the water. If nothing else, I think we need a benchmark here, we need to be told just what would have made Dr Julian Rubbish and his pals act.

Naaah. Just kidding. Nothing would have made these guys sound the alarm. It's the fundamental calculus of the Rehab Industry. They claim to be 100% successful and when an inconvenient body or two turn up, they go the class war route and try to claim all their critics are lager-poisoned Jeremy Kyle viewers who just don't appreciate the subtle genius required to consistently free maniacs to strike again.

There is no better measure of how utterly liberalism has triumphed over socialism than that such a frank appeal to snobbery is considered a winning argument for the left.

A vote of thanks too for the feminists. They're outraged that anyone would suggest that getting wasted then walking through the city alone at 2:00 AM isn't such a great move, but the courts setting perverts loose to strike again?

Cat got you tongue, ladies?

Truly, they are the Stepford Wives of the left.

Chickens, Roost

Open Borders: how that's working out for you, m'lud?

The jury reached deadlock after sending the judge three separate notes containing 10 questions which suggested they were “struggling” with the most “basic concept” of trial by jury.

They included a question about whether they could reach a verdict based on something which was not presented in court, and whether the defendant’s “religious conviction” to follow her wedding vows of obeying her then husband, Chris Huhne, would be reason enough to acquit her of committing a crime with him.

Mr Justice Sweeney said he had “never come across” anything like the jury’s response in nearly 30 years of working in criminal courts.

Gosh, it's almost like the proper functioning of an advanced democracy requires that the citizenry hold a common set of assumptions about how society works.... kind of like how those fascists on the right always said it did.

It's Like 'Cash In The Attic' Meets '1984'

I want to say something suitably acidic about Vince Cable's plan to tax elderly widows for the price of their wedding rings, but it's just too evil to do it justice, so instead here's a strangely apporpiate clip.

Compare & Contrast: New Dave Order Edition

Mentioning that the National Socialist German Workers Party was, in fact, just a little socialist? Fired!

Praising a terrorist? Carry on!
 

Of course there are differences. One of them was talking about a mad man who ranted about how God commanded him to crush the aliens polluting his sacred land, while the other was talking about Hitler.

Still, the comparison is compelling. As ever though we should not let the obvious foulness of the Cameroonian position blind us to the more profound foulness of it all. When exactly did conservatives start talking fondly of 'conviction politicians'? When did that get to be a good thing?

The whole point about conservatism is scepticism about government in general and politicians with big ideas in particular. When actual conservatives cite the guy ranting about how Ulster Protestants are alien transplants who deserve no rights, they mean it as an example of why politicians can't be trusted.

It Never Ends

So why do people call them 'Continuity New Labour' anyway?

The Coalition’s advisors on school food said head teachers should prevent pupils bringing their own lunches into school – and ban them from visiting fast food outlets – amid continuing fears over the state of children’s diets.

Nice, huh? The state can't say whether two parents are better than one, but it can tell you what your kids are allowed to eat. And then there's this:

It was claimed that the move would effectively force parents to pay for school dinners – allowing staff to spend more money upgrading kitchens and generating healthy canteen food.

Who said 'stealth tax'? Mind you, the whole idea of forcing people who don't want state-approved meals to pay for them anyway seems vaguely familiar somehow....

Speaking to The Sunday Times, Mr Dimbleby, son of the broadcaster David Dimbleby, said schools should consider banning packed lunches and requiring pupils to remain on site over lunch to drive up investment in school catering services.

Suddenly it all becomes clear. May as well just go the whole hog and call it a 'Food Licence Fee'. It's an interesting philosophical question though: which side of the debate has betrayed their roots most blatantly? The British left for allowing itself to be dominated by absurdly privledged rich brat snoborexics ranting at the 'scrubbers' (Copyright: J Oliver)? Or the right for even contemplating a national policy on lunch?

Funnily enough though, while the supposed threat of the 'obesity epidemic' is serious enough to justify these people stealing your money and your liberty, it never justifies doing anything that would inconvenience the teachoids.

Of Pigs And Proms

My thoughts exactly.

Like I said in the comments, we've been this way before. Less than a decade ago, we were told that anyone who thought civil partnerships would be the camel's nose for gay marriage was clearly a tin-foil hatted Jesus Freak. Now it turns out that not supporting gay marriage is a sign you're a tin-foil hat wearing Jesus Freak. Either way, they hate you, they really hate you.

Mind you, the old Endowment Flogger does have a point. Whichever side of the conservative movement you're on, the traditionalist wing or the minimalist government wing, once you accept that marriage is whatever the government says it is this week, what can't it do?

All of which reminds me of the guy who visits a farm and sees a pig with a bunch of medals hanging round its neck and a wooden leg. He asks the farmer what's going on and the farmer tells him about all the times the pig has saved the lives of members of his family, like pulling the farmer out of slurry pits, protecting his young daughter from wild dogs and waking them up when the house catches fire. The guy says 'well, OK, that explains the medals, but what about the wooden leg'? The farmer replies 'hey, a pig like that, you're not going to eat him all at once are you'?

Message to social conservatives: you are that pig and establishment conservatives are the farmer.

On the plus side, at least social conservatism's perfect record is intact: fifty years without ever having won one.

All of which means it's time to revisit the old advice about doing the same thing and expecting different outcomes. Is there a better way? Yes, actually. There's a - possibly apocryphal - story about a US lesbian who sued her Mid-West High School to win the right to take her girlfriend to the Prom and not have to abide by the dress code. She won, of course, and on the day in question the two of them strode boldly into the Prom, doubtless dressed in matching boiler suits, followed by a pack of journos anxious to document how they 'rubbed the right's nose in diversity'.Except...

Something wasn't quite right. Band playing? Check! Decorations up? Check! Any noses to rub in diversity? Errr.... not so much.

In fact, their fellow students were all across town at a 'Not The Prom', having a whale of a time and blatantly keeping their noses unrubbed. That's the key point here. The State could demand the right for these two jerks to attend something called 'The Prom' but it couldn't breath life into it. Instead, these two were left as Queens of the Empty Room, proud holders of the right to walk round an empty gym. They'd have stuck it to The Man, if only the The Man had stuck around.

That's the secret right there. Gay marriage might be a tactical win for the forces of chaos, but it's also a sign of their strategic weakness. We've had a half a century of the Gaystapo on the rampage but in cultural terms, they're batting 0 out of 10. They're firmly mired in parody and pastiche unable to create a single lasting cultural institution of their own. Hence the desire to hijack other peoples.

So now the government has decided that gay marriage is legal. Well, just that then. It's time for the Churches to leave the Prom. They need to refuse to perform legal marriages. If - for some insane reason - Christians want to follow up their Church wedding by inviting the state to get involved in their lives they can turn up at State Registry Office 2473 some wet Wednesday when they're both off work and fill the papers out. Other than that, the Hell with it.

Nothing will let the air out of the gay marriage movement like that moment when these tools are all performing fellatio on each other on the steps of State Registry Office 2473 (take that, daddeo) and a young Christian couple in jeans ignore them as they pass by on the way to get their Offical Government Stamp of Marital Approval.

Think of it as their Marily Manson moment.

The Root of the Problem

Crivens! The Five-oh are complaining that complaints against the police are recorded even when they're self-evidently absurd.

Hmmmmmm....... you could almost say 'the process is the punishment'.

Now why does that sound familiar? JulieM dismantles this garbage, but the thing that intrigues me is this bit from Gadget's post:

Sir Robert Peel wanted us not to pander to public opinion, but to remain impartial and apply the law.

Well, yeah... maybe, but probably not. Still, if you want to go down that road, there's this too:

Above all else, an effective authority figure knows trust and accountability are paramount. Hence, Peel's most often quoted principle: The police are the public and the public are the police.

Not exactly consistent with the Gadgeteers idea of the Police arresting all and sundry at the drop of a hat while insisting that no complaints be recorded against them unless accompanied by DNA evidence and CCTV footage.....

 ... And never mind all the Gadgeteers babbling on about 'civvies', like they've just spent the morning clearing out a pair of 88s dug in on Hill 239, instead of dealing with chavs texting death threats to each other.

That's Not The BBC TV I Was Thinking Of

Our completely impartial national broadcaster brings us this:

n an effort to support and positively address transgender roles on mainstream comedy television shows, the BBC has teamed up with artist collective Trans Comedy to bestow upon upcoming writers the Trans Comedy Award. Specifically BBC Writersroom, an ongoing program that helps scribes develop projects for the BBC, is offering talented writers up to £5,000 (about $8,000) to use toward producing a television pilot.

Well, they've certainly got the parody thing covered, albeit probably not in the way they were intending.

Hey, it's a free country, so if some guys want to get together to eat, drink and be Mary, why not? I'm just not sure why licence payers should be expected to pay for it, and especially so when the organisation that wants to 'positively address transgender roles' steadfastly refuses to call the guy with a bomb vest a 'terrorist' in the name of bogus objectivity.

The MSM: Shagging A Dead Horse

The MSM has been waiting years to use the phrases 'UKIP official' and 'BNP supporter' in the same sentence but now they get the chance, they've decided he's the good guy.

 Hmmmm..... a guy could almost think the MSM's 24-7 Hitler Watch round UKIP headquarters was not, in fact, inspired by a genuine fear of a Forth Reich after all. Meanwhile, we have further proof that there is no better way to go from a Nasty Nazi to a Romantic Rebel than to denounce real conservatives. Call it the Portillo Effect.

Not to give aid and comfort to the enemy, but I'm not sure the left has thought this all out. This guy may just have exposed the hollowness of their position.

The idea, I think, is to depict the right as a bunch of uptight squares who want to hash everyone's mellow. It's true this dude wants to throw off all those pesky restrictions on gay marriage but he also wants to go the whole hog and bang pretty much anything that moves, or at least used to move.

Hey, why not? If you're going to go blank slate, go big. On the plus side, incest means you don't have to bother with that same old argument every year about whose parents to have Christmas Dinner with. Ditto, necrophilia is surely just like married sex, only more so. As for the bestiality, at least you can domesticate some animals, which is more than anyone's ever managed with red heads. Still, this does kind of beg the question. Isn't all this pretty much what traditionalists have been saying is the problem with the whole marriage as an Etch-A-Sketch thing?

Conservatives support traditional morality because it's tried and tested. This guy wants to go the other way and let his freak flag fly. At least he's consistent. Meanwhile, liberals always claim to defend traditional morality, except for the bits they're attacking right now, but never can quite say what differentiates them from the guys asking 'was that good for ewe'?

Markers of No Appearance

This is bizarre!

Burglars leaving marks for each other? Who knew Lefty and Fingers had such a trade union spirit? It's not like there's a whole community of felons travelling round the country, is there?

Send The Bill To Shami

Who'd have thunk it: an Islamonazi lunatic not cooperating with law enforcement? Honestly, it's getting so you can't trust anyone these days.

Mind you, I haven't checked the latest reports from the courts this week. Are we sure they haven't found a human right to abscond?

 In related news, liberals won't trust a country GP to keep a pistol round the house becuase that would be dangerous.

Liberalism Ate Socialism

Looks like the lefties are having another one of their endless discussions about how they can bamboozle normal people into signing up to their loony agenda.

Laban's right about one aspect of the problem, but then there's stuff like this.

I don't think that's exactly how the Good Samaritan did it.

Charidee staff with gold-plated pensions is just one aspect of the sheer weirdness of modern liberalism. How did we get to the point where soi dissant socialists demand the right to bleed the public dry so as to feather bed their pals in the public sector (actual and fake charity divisions)? The working man is paying taxes to provide the bratty meeja studies graduate daughters of the liberal elite with non-jobs as recycling coordinators and five a day officers. Isn't that pretty much what the Labour Party was set up to oppose?

Dept of the Unprepared

Uh oh... looks like Christmas has snuck up on us again.

There's only one thing to do: unleash the elves!

Chumps Dumped

Like I keep saying, the thing with Cameron is not that he's reliably disgusting, it's that he manages to find new ways to be appalling every time. Too busy to sign letters?

Really?
 
Mind you, these guys are idiots too. As if His Magnificence Sultan David I would ever really be interested in advice from people in 'trade'. They were just the political equivalent of groupies and they got treated like groupies. If these alleged top business brains can't work that out for themselves, that probably explains more about why British business is screwed than anything to do with the exchange rate or inflation.

About Those Non-Political Chief Constables....

An insight from the Good Old Days before elected police commissars politicised our wonderful boys in blue:

But he is more than just a survivor, as we reported: “Such is his power in the corridors of Westminster and his influence on the important Asian vote to Labour that a lavish party to celebrate his 25th year in parliament in July was attended by Tony Blair, David Miliband, Theresa May and Bernard Hogan-Howe, the Metropolitan Police Commissioner.”

How very independent. Doubtless he'll be right on top of the whole Mitchell thing...

This Is What The Left Means By 'Cut Backs'

....No more £300 chairs for school kids.

It's also the perfect exemplar of the left's utter inability to understand real achievement. They wanted to create a socialist Eton and so they ordered fancy chairs?

Really? Is that what liberals think is the secret of Eton's success: really high quality seating?

But remember, parents can't be trusted with school vouchers because they just don't know what makes a good school....