Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Special Ed Elected: The Beatings Will Continue Until The Poll Numbers Improve

After shiving his own brother, I guess it was a natural evolution for Special Ed to take it to the next level and use his conference speech to throw himself under the bus. Either that, or it must have been some other Ed Miliband who wrote their election manifesto last time out.

Mind you, there was a certain Blairesque degree of brass neck to hearing Ed announce there was a new generation at the helm, even while the same old lunkheads sat there on the front row in full view of the media.

The bottom line is that Ed could have ridden in on a unicorn dragging Lord Lucan behind him and it still wouldn't have distracted from the fact he only has two basic speeches: the one where he's vacuous, and the one where he's repulsive.

Today's speech was the perfect example of Group A: Ed is in favour of loving homes, aspiration and long walks on the beach. On the other hand, at least he's not afraid to come out and denounce Hitler.

It's actually quite a coincidence, since the first thing I thought of when I heard he was a contender was the old story about the guy hiking through the Amazon in 1953.

This bloke comes across a house hidden deep in the middle of the jungle and as he gets closer he hears Wagner blasting through the windows. Suddenly, he sees him! Adolf Hitler, alive and well, and living in Brazil.

Hitler explains how he escaped from Germany to South America, and how he's now planning to return to power and once more raise Germany from the ashes to seize its rightful place as the true ruler of the entire world, and what's more, this time things will be different: now, there will be no more 'Mister Nice Guy'!

Yes, indeed, stripped of the soft-focus, Hallmark blather, what is Milibonker's basic platform other than that the reason Labour MPs in England are an endangered species is because, gosh darn it, they just haven't been crazy enough.


JuliaM said...

I'm really, really looking forward to the next few months... ;)

I'm just wondering if the bloom will come off this rose as quickly as it did with Obama.

Anonymous said...

Was there ever a bloom on this empty suit?

The parliamentary system used to throw up real pople. Love or hate 'em; Powell, Benn, Thatcher etc.

What have we got now? The Cleggeron vacuum, and this nothingness heading Labour. Of any of them it could be said that when they walk into a room its like sombody walked out. They are the Ken Barlows of politics, only with less character.