It Depends Where You Stick It

Ah yes, the modern Conservative Party. It's hip'n'happening, with no more hang-ups about the ol' lifestyle issues. In Conservativeville, you can be as blue as you want, in every sense. Anything goes, dude. Hey - if you want to hook up with some hunky guys, disappear into the woodland with them so you can enjoy the feel of something hard and heavy against your cheek while you squeeze off a couple, then in this Party you know you can....shove it, actually.

Yes, indeed. Apparently, mere contact with certain objects is, in and of itself, grounds for the old heave ho' in the modern Party. JohnJo passes on one theory. Me, personally, I'm thinking about the bigger picture. My suspicion is that Howard has placed an enormous spread bet at the bookies, with less seats meaning more winnings. It's the only explanation. There's no other reason why a Conservative Party would want to do things like introduce ID cards. Once you accept that Howard is actually trying to destroy the base, then things make a lot more sense. He's actually doing a great job, by the time the election comes round they'll be able to hunt down voters on an individual basis. Expect the broadcasts to feature lines line "Andrew Parker of Blackburn, you smell!".