Who'd have thunk it ? We'll get the chance to vote on the fate of our nation. Isn't that nice of Blair ? It raises the question of how he thinks he get away with though. Here's my suggestions:
- Rely on the awe and universal love in which he is held by the Great British Public
- Postpone referendum until the right moment - April 2058
- Slogan: Europe - it's somewhere to exile Mandelson
- Referendum ballot paper offers choices of Agree or Yes
- Persuade BBC to run special serious of educational programs, such as 'If…we don't sign up' , a sober analysis of the effects of voting no, featuring flesh-eating zombie cannibal Nazis.
- Allow Lord Chief Justice Woolf and his colleagues at the High Court to provide a really up-to-date definition of 'majority'
- Ban showing of war films on TV, in favour of films highlighting successful Anglo-European co-operation in history.
- Order historians to find an example of successful Anglo-European co-operation.
- Friends in the press will reveal - exclusively - that the head of the 'No' campaign cheated on a maths test 32 years ago
- Get Sir John 'Sock Puppet' Stevens to arrange the arrest of 15 million right-wing extremists on election day
- Make postal voting compulsory to encourage everyone to participate, not just people who exist
- Persuade his father-in-law to let Hitler out on day release, providing he endorses the 'No' campaign while free
- Advertise phone number for free tickets to an England game, then when anyone phones up unleash a lethal charge of electricity down the line
- Hey, I make this fifteen at least
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