When Samurai Swords Are Banned, Only Ninjas Will Have Samurai Swords

The Gun Three Whirled lobby have made their descent into self-parody official:

Imitation Samurai swords are to be banned after a spate of attacks in the UK, say ministers.

Not just attacks, a spate of them. Run to the hills everybody!

Home Office minister Vernon Coaker said there was a clear danger to the public posed by easily-available swords.

How about the easy availability of scumbags ? Any plans to change that ?

Calls for a ban came after a number of high-profile incidents in which cheap Samurai-style swords had been used as a weapon.

Yes, down the Dog & Duck they talk of little else.

The Home Office estimates there have been some 80 attacks in recent years involving Samurai-style blades, leading to at least five deaths.

But wait.... Jovial Jack Straw was just telling us that the fact only 110 of the early release prisoners were found to reoffend means the program is just ducky. So which is it ? Is 80 enough to be an imminent threat, or is 110 nothing to worry about ?

Needless to say, the people's party comes through again:

Vernon Coaker said: "In the wrong hands, samurai swords are dangerous weapons - there have been a number of high profile, serious incidents involving samurai swords in England and Wales in recent years.

"It is therefore crucial that we take this action to tackle the menace of violent crime.

"We recognise it is the cheap, easily available samurai swords which are being used in crime and not the genuine, more expensive samurai swords which are of interest to collectors and martial arts enthusiasts."

So pretendey samurai swords are banned, but actual katanas, cutlasses, epees, claymores, sabres, broadswords and scimitars will presumably remain legal, pending any more mysterious calls to ban them.

See, I bet you feel safer already.

UPDATE:

Down in the comments, 'Anonymous' points out that this spate of Katana Krimes isn't yet serious enough for the government to take serious action against the actual criminals