As I Was Saying....

On the subject of the Left yukking it up over terrorism, if stupid was uranium, this article would have reached critical mass around paragraph five.

Police and securocrats know that there aren't enough real terrorists in the world, which is why they have to keep manufacturing them.

Is it ironic, or just stupid, that a guy who claims there's no real threat from terrorism uses the language of the IRA ?

This is because citizens tire of being watched by cameras, frisked and x-rayed, having their belongings searched, giving fingerprints to so-called friendly nations on entry, contemplating the myriad government databases where their details and activities are preserved, and wondering if some dour little bureaucrat is reading their email or listening to them on the phone.

Personally, judging from this article, I pity the poor guy assigned to read his e-mails.

Citizens tire also of reading the rolls of the war dead fraudulently sacrificed in the name of counterterrorist "victory", and of seeing hundreds of billions spent on surveillance and private security, ridiculous wars, and security-related gimmicks and gizmos, when it could be so much better spent on, oh, needs like housing, medicine and pensions, and mitigating actual mass threats to life via such non-sexy routes as traffic safety, fire safety, vaccinations, buildings and infrastructure inspection, water treatment, and food safety.

To say nothing of the threat from run-on sentences. If Liberals are claiming the NHS stinks because of all the money spent on the security services, they may as well quit now.

But the guys with the guns and cameras and listening devices have been on a roll since 9/11, embarrassing their clip-board-toting rivals in the race for public money, even though, collectively, they've taken or made meaner far more lives than they can ever hope to protect with their strategy of violence in the name of peace, and fascism in the name of liberty.

Fascism ? We have bunch of folks who believe they are destined to conquer the entire world, exterminating large chunks of the population, while others will be permitted to live on only as slaves, and the Leftards think the fascists are the ones who oppose them ? Anyway, how come Liberals only worry about wasting public money when we're talking about national defence ? Free aromatherapy for drug addicts will pay for itself, but stopping people blowing up Trafalgar Square ? An indulgence, sir, pure indulgence!

To keep the billions rolling in, they've got to produce a terrorist every now and then.

If there's one thing in the world that needs a conspiracy theory to explain it, it's Islamic violence.

Only real terrorists are hard to come by, so clowns and stooges with harebrained schemes end up doing bin Laden's perp walk periodically.

...as opposed to the suave and debonair September 11 hijackers, with their written instructions to put on cologne, then take a shower (True!).

Today we have news from London, where a "big [explosive] device" was discovered inside a parked car near Piccadilly Circus.

You know, if quotation marks hadn't been invented, large parts of the Left would have no way to communicate.

The device consisted of petrol, propane gas cylinders, and nails.

Sounds pretty explosive to me.

The car containing it had been abandoned after its driver was observed piloting it erratically, crashing it, then running off, like a true professional.

But how do you become a professional suicide bombers ? Seems to me that just as soon as you're getting to grips with it, it's time to push the button.

Ambulance workers called to assist nearby noticed what they initially thought was smoke inside the car, but which likely was petrol vapour, and contacted police.

But...but...surely those pesky securocrats were just waiting to leap out of nowhere and defuse the bomb ?

Bomb disposal specialists made it safe, and police officials and politicians began slyly invoking the terrorist bogeyman.

Yep, a huge car bomb is found and police start thinking about terrorism. They're funny that way.

Heaven forbid the public should be starved of their regular fear rations.

Yep, without the dark forces of the state, no one would ever think to connect a car bomb to terrorists.

"As the police and security services have said on so many occasions, we face a serious and continuous threat to our country", day-old PM Gordon Brown said.

Meanwhile, Liberals told us it was all gigglesville, right up until the debate was finally resolved on July 7 2005.

"But this incident does recall the need for us to be vigilant at all times and the public to be alert at any potential incidents."

And what an incident. "It is obvious that if the device had detonated there could have been serious injury or loss of life", Deputy Assistant Commissioner Peter Clarke intoned gravely.

See ? What a bunch of squares! One car bombing and they're all making sad faces.

Ah, if it had detonated. Yes, it could have been a real horror.

As opposed to real terrorist bombs, which are so deadly they don't even have to explode.

Only, the device could not have detonated. Not under any circumstances.

Any circumstances ?

You see, the terrorist wannabe clown who built it left out a crucial element: an oxidiser.

So, in Liberal land 'not under any circumstances' turns out to mean 'addition of a single element'. Ah yes!

The device was pure pre-teen boy fantasy.

Except built by thirty-somethings, and deadly with the addition of one more ingredient.

"We'll heat up these propane cylinders with burning petrol, and they'll go off like bombs", boys the world over have remarked with glee.

Not 'boys'.

They don't realise that air is a poor oxidiser, and the only "explosion" they will get is when gas pressure inside the cylinders is great enough to burst them. Then the propane will ignite, and a nice fireball will blossom. A fireball, not an explosion.

Fireball, smireball! Like that'll kill anyone!

Oh, the Piccadilly fireball would have blown the car's windows out, and popped its doors open, and sent various bits like mirrors and so forth into the air at velocities possibly fatal to people nearby.

Hmmm.....it's almost like some kind of bomb.

It would have looked really cool, that's for sure. But an explosive event...a detonation?

No, just a huge fireball with shrapnel flying all over the place. Other than that, nothing much.

Not in a million years.

Or until you add a single element.

Sorry lads:

Actually, experienced doctors.

you failed car bombing 101; you did not attend a single lecture; you did not even open the textbook.

Yet they still managed to get within spitting distance of a massacre. Hmmmmm..... sounds like we need to tighten up before the first team takes to the field.

Some stupid people did a stupid thing.

Mass murder = 'a stupid thing', y'know, kind of like TPing your mate's car or shaving his hair off while he's passed out.

Yes, they might have injured or killed one or two passers-by,

As if that matters....

but any body count would have come in spite of them, not as a product of their efforts.

I'll sure that'd make the families of the dead feel much better.

You and I are more likely to have been killed accidentally by the lousy driver than intentionally by his Beavis and Butthead car bomb.

'His' ? Uh, team effort, dude! Meanwhile, in so far as you're more likely to die from the Big C rather than in a road accident, I'm sure our intrepid moonbat will be downing a bottle of vodka before going for a drive.

This should have been dismissed for what it is: an event on the level of some teenagers getting a tremendously foolish notion, and being drunk enough for it to appeal to them.

Drunk Islamic fundamentalists. Who said Leftist multicultutralism was just a front for hatred of the West ?

But we're hearing whispers of terrorism instead - much as we heard from the Americans when they foiled a "terrorist plot" to blow up fuel storage tanks at Kennedy International.

Yep, whenever you try and blow something up and kill loads of people, people start talking about terrorism. It's just like Nazi Germany!

It would have been devastating, prosecutors told us.

See ? This is what I mean about Liberal contempt for the public. really, most folks managed to get the whole 'explosive + jet fuel = no fun' thing worked out long before those naughty lawyers got involved.

Only that "plot" had the same hole in it: air makes a lousy oxidiser.

Or, to put it another way, once again they were one element off mass slaughter.

If it had been carried out, it would certainly have made a bigger fireball than the one in London would have made. But that's about it.

So, like the London bombers, they had the means and the desire to create mass slaughter, they just lacked the final bit of technical know-how to get them over the line. And this proves terrorism is a myth how exactly ?

So why is this such big news?

People take bombs personally ?

Because clowns have got to be passed off as terrorists.

Car bombers = 'clowns'. But you can trust the Left on terrorism.

Because a vast industry depends on terrorists, real and imagined, to justify its existence.

Yes, the vast industry of stopping people being blown up, as opposed to the Left's powerbase in small-scale, cottage industries, like law, education and ecolunacy.

We live now in the grip of the security-industrial complex, and that hungry beast demands to be fed.

You know, if you're writing an article mocking the Right for being too worried about terrorists, it's probably not a good idea to come across like Fox Mulder's schizo brother.

We feed it money hand over fist, and in return, it feeds us fear biscuits, which we are expected to accept with gratitude.

The least it could do is feed us some decent metaphors.

Roll over. Sit up and beg. See the bad man? Good citizen; here's your bickie.

Yep, without the looming forces of the security-industrial complex, us sheeple would never connect car bombing with evil.

OK, so that's the end of the stupid, and I've only got two things to say. One is that you'd think a guy from Dublin would be more practised at making excuses for terrorist scum. The second thing is a little deeper.

It's tempting to explain the strand of Liberal nonsense of which this is a too-perfect-to-make-up example as simply the result of the nihilism of the modern Left. All large parts of the Left has left is a juvenile, sneering contempt for our civilisation. Of course car bombing simply provokes them into a round of eye-rolling 'yeah, rights'. They have absolutely no other contribution to make to the debate other than knee-jerk contrariness.

Still, I think there's more to it than that. I remember Len Deighton's line about Chamberlain deciding to treat Hitler as though he was a rational man simply because he had no idea what to do if he was not. So it is with Liberals, so far down the post-modern rabbit hole that they have to believe that Jihad is a myth and Islam is a religion of peace. To believe anything else, would demand they abandon the comforting idiocies of Liberalism.