Hey, Lucky I've Just Bought A New Nano-Violin

Just in time for the Liberal pity party:

Critical school inspections represent a "public humiliation", the annual conference of the National Association of Head Teachers (NAHT) has heard.

See, that’s that whole ‘taking skip loads of public money’ thing. Yes, indeed – the insensitive swine do like to see a little evidence that you’re not just throwing it all in the sea.

The practice of sending letters to pupils describing the findings of the education watchdog Ofsted also came in for condemnation.

Yes, it does seem rather silly to send letters to kids who’ve never been taught to read.

These were "patronising, condescending and supercilious", the NAHT said.

Mr Kettle was not available for comment.

The letters gave children a "licence for bad behaviour", the conference in Harrogate heard.

As opposed to the splendid example set by a bunch of people who unleash their inner chimpanzee whenever it's suggested that they might actually do the job for which they're paid.

Delegates voted to oppose the "current punitive inspection regime that at its worst can be inspection by public humiliation".

Or you could, y’know, stop constantly screwing up.

There was "a need to create an inspection system that truly recognises and values the work of schools", it was argued.

We did, that’s why they’re whining like a singed cat.

Ofsted has changed the system to one of shorter-notice, quicker inspections, no more than three years apart.

Hey, quicker inspections. That’s got to go down well with the hippies, right ?

Delegates heard that heads nearing three years since their last visit were in a "state of persistent paranoia".

I believe this is one time when we are truly justified in using that phrase ‘if you’ve got nothing to hide, you’ve got nothing to fear’. Meanwhile, in the real world, we don’t get to screw around for three years at a time without consequences. How do we manage ?

David Kitching, from the Isle of Wight, said the new system created "instant judgements".

Hey, I thought they welcomed shorter inspections. Oops no, guess it’s better to radical than rational.

He added that Ofsted was a "bully" which was "there to promote short-term government objectives".

Later, he added that Ofsted were, like, total bad vibe merchants, maaan. It says a lot about where these people are that the thought of a government body that serves the elected government strikes them as somehow underhand. But isn’t it funny that Liberals are always proposing long-term plans that involve doing the exact opposite of what any rational person would do in the short-term ?

David Pannett, from Barnsley, South Yorkshire, said he was quitting the profession in protest at the new regime.

Oh no! How will the country survive if dirty Liberal hippies keep jacking in their jobs-for-life ?

It was possible to "ruin" schools in a couple of days, he added.

Hey, those guys should know.

Delegates were also urged to "deplore" the sending of letters detailing inspection findings to pupils.

Yep, when the kids have to ask their parents to read the letters to them, that gives the game away.

A motion said: "At best, these letters are patronising, condescending and supercilious.

And that’s their job.

"At worst, the letters may expose and humiliate some teachers, while misrepresenting good individual teaching with blanket criticisms of the school."

So the letters are bad because they single out individual teachers, but also because they don’t single out individual teachers. Uh OK.

It added that inspections were "undermining the human rights of all teachers in a school", which "flies in the face" of the government's respect agenda, aimed at improving young people's behaviour. Liz Paver, from Doncaster, South Yorkshire, said she was "horrified" at the letters and prepared to strike in protest against them.

It’s the fundamental human right to a job for life, irrespective of how badly you do it. Call it a hunch, but I’m thinking what really undermines young people’s behavior is seeing their teachers showing utter contempt for the public while still claiming they’re entitled to huge wodges of their cash.

An Ofsted spokeswoman said the letters allowed better "feedback".
She added: "The letter to pupils is a new service offered by Ofsted under the new inspection system which, for the first time, lets them directly know about the outcome of the inspection of their school.

Which is probably what hacks off the zombies. They’d much rather we went back to the Seventies, when insiders knew which schools were good and bad, while the folks actually paying for it all had to take pot luck.

"About three-quarters of head teachers agree that the post-inspection letter to pupils is helpful."

See, that’s the problem right there. We don’t care. We have a bunch of burnt-out New Age trash with their fangs firmly locked on the public teat, and we’re supposed to worry what they think of us ? Hello ?

With approximately 750 000 riders on this particular gravy train it’ll never happen, but I’d love it if some politician would just stand up and say 'up yours!'. After all, it's not as if they're even hiding it anymore. Back in the day, there used to be at least a millimetric layer of bogus educational justification for the shakedown d'jour, but now ? Nope, accountability is bad because... they say it is, so there!

It's not only that folks with real jobs are being soaked to provide a bunch of drug-sodden, going nowhere losers, idiots and deadbeats with jobs for life (plus a gold plated pension). No, it's the fact that they take all this then they sneer at us. In the moral cesspit of British education, people with actual jobs are either dupes of 'the system' or fascists, depending on just how much more successful they've been than the average teacher. Hell, look at them at the average parent's evening, a bunch of disheveled, dirty losers dressed like circus clowns. Could they make their contempt more obvious ?

This vile collection of worthless idiots spend their lives snarling hatred of everyone who hasn't thrown their life away smoking pot and waiting for the revolution, man. Yet, staggeringly, British educational standards have somehow collapsed. Not only have billions of pounds have been wasted, but so has the potential of millions of children, all because no politician has the courage to call these poisonous vermin what they are. 'Public humiliation' ? Right now, public execution wouldn't be over the top.