Sunday, July 18, 2004

Gordo In A Big, Floppy Hat

Could the skin trade be any sleazier or demeaning ? Why, yes, of course. The happy community of pimps, pros and pervs is being invaded by the only people in the world less respectable.

BROTHELS in Britain could be officially licensed under proposals published yesterday for the first overhaul of prostitution laws in almost 50 years.

An official register of prostitutes and "red-light zones" where prostitution is tolerated is also under consideration as part of a package to reduce harm caused by the sex trade.…

David Blunkett, the Home Secretary, said that he believed that a state registration scheme and a system of regular health checks might prove more productive as an initial step towards dealing with heroin and crack abuse among prostitutes and helping them to find a way out of the often violent sex trade.

But, wait, there's more….

Experts estimate that full legalisation of the sex industry could prove highly profitable for the Exchequer, bringing in at least £250 million every single year. Full legalisation would see prostitutes formally brought into the tax system for the first time. Although prostitutes and other sex workers are already technically liable for income tax and VAT, in practice it is impossible for the Inland Revenue to monitor their activities.

Gordo's going to be the nation's pimp. The ladies of the night may think this'll make things easier, but just wait until the government really get to grips with the trade. Metaphorically speaking, obviously. Take those red lights - not nearly bright enough, someone could easily trip over in the gloom. Then again, what of the whips and chains - are they being cleaned between clients ? And that's only individual cases: what of the discriminatory hiring practices ? Surely the government must step in to end the Banzai Corporation's practice of only hiring blondes to entertain it's directors on their 'golfing weekends' ? Naturally, the current bias in favour of heterosexuals must be tackled, while the lack of job opportunities for disabled hookers must also be addressed. With such measures Britain can move forward into a new Golden Age of truly progressive rug-a-tug shops. Just think of the pride we'll feel when progressive reform of the sex trade reaches it's zenith: the first lawsuit alleging sexual harassment.

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